It all started a couple of days ago. Our own Jun decided to have a little fun with the forum of BillGoldberg.com. Apparently, his fans don’t understand the word “fun”. Those self-righteous assholes branded us evil racists (well....) and even “wierd” (sic). They came over to OUR site to bitch about daring to mock a bunch of people still obsessed with a guy who hasn’t been shit for 5 years. I mean, where’s the Steve Blackman forum?
After laughing at those clowns for a couple of days, Clyde comes to me with the idea to have a little fun. Our mission? To go undercover with fake names to infiltrate the disturbing world of.....PLANET GOLDBERG.
My mission, should I choose to accept it (oh, wait, I did already) is to become GoldyFan98 aka Tommy Lauer, a 6 year old who was born on 4/20/98, the day Goldberg won the US Title from Raven (and also the birthdate of one of Goldberg’s favorite people.) He’s a little jewish boy with big dreams of becoming a “butt-kicking pro wrestler” like his hero Bill Goldberg. Little Tommy also sees a lot of racial injustice in the world, and wants to see it righted. So, here is post one from yours truly, in a topic called “Boycott”:
Hello. My name is Tommy Lauer, and I am the biggest Goldberg fan in the world! Goldy is da man for ever and ever!!!!!11! My brother said that Triple H ran him out of the WWE because he hates Jewish people. He wears an iron cross on his trunks, which is a symbol the evil Nazis used I wish Goldberg was still in the WWE, because he kicked butt, but I don’t blame him for leaving a racist company. My neighbor is Jewish, too. She said she was at a airport on the walkway belt. She was very tired and decided to stand there instead of walk and behind her was a very tall man with long blond hair and big muscles. He screamed “Get out of the way, dumb kike!” at her as he shoved her. She later identified him as HHH.
I may be a kid, but I call on a boycott of the World Wrestling Entertainment company for choosing to push this ugly racist man. Ric Flair is Jewish, too. I think he’s a bad person for being friends with someone who hates his people.
Please call and e-mail the WWE asking them to ban Triple H, or at the very least have him make a public apology for being a racist.
bulldogzrule (hmmm, I wonder who this guy is?)
Tommy, you aren't the only one with stories. Once, at a book singing, I saw an old man with a yahmuka walk up to HHH and ask him about the Maltease Cross on his tshirt. HHH tried to ignore him but the old man kept asking why. HHH then reached into his pocket and tossed some change on the ground for the old man. When the old man reached for it, mall security ejeted him from Barns & Nobel. I had to give his hat back to him outside.
I want HHH vs Goldberg at the next Wrestlemania for sure. Not only that, HHH's song is by a guy named Motorhead who collects Nazi memoribilia. I saw a picture of him in a Nazi uniform once in RIP magazine a few years ago
GOOLDBURG FAN 316!!
Hay guyz isn't this racial slandering?
I'll say! LOL!
That's SLANDERMENT u dum rascist.
that's not how you spell rasist
GOOLDBURG FAN 316!!
HAY GUY I'M NO DUM RASISCT U TACO BELL EATR!!!
taco bell iz good. i got thre tacos a chalipa a nacho and a chiken kaseadeeah last ime i wnet.
Holy crap, thats funny stuff right there. Saying that HHH is a racist and such, I dont know why I find it so funny, but I cant stop laughing. I guess its just the way that you put it.
(EDITORS NOTE: Holy shit, a Goldberg fan who can get a joke? Stop the world!)
Sadly, the posters on that forum are so damn stupid, it’s hard to tell what was a joke post and what wasn’t. I’m pretty sure the last guy was one of their guys.
The next post I did was entitled “What Goldberg Means To Me”:
I didn’t get a chance to witness Goldberg’s winning streak first hand because my parents had me too late LOL I was born 4/20/98 wich was the night Goldberg won his first wrestling belt from Raven. I am glad my brother was a huuuuuge wrestling fan and taped every WCW show so I could see DA MAN!!!1!
Bill Goldberg means a lot to me. He is definately my idol. When I grow up, I want to be a buittkicking wrestler just like him! I’m also jewish to and sometimes that’s hard, especially when the older kids won’t pick me to play sports because they say “Tommy is jewish, he’s not good at sports” I tell them that Bill Goldberg is jewish and he was a superrstar in the N.F.L. and the best wrestler ever!!!!!
I wanted to shave my head like Bill but my mom won’t let me LOL
When I’m in the math olympics at my school and I beat somebody I yell “WHO’S NEXT!” like Bill does. LOL
I just want to thank Bill for being so cool. I wish I could be like that. He also made me beg my mom to let me adopt a dog from the pound so it wouldn’t get killed. My dad also gave money to the pound to feed those poor animals. Every1 should adopt a dog or cat!
Thanks for reading. Gooooldbeg! Goooooooldberg! Gooooooldberg! 4life!
I'm adopting the gefilteh swimming in my tub for you, Tommy. Youre borther is pretty dang cool. (Note to our readers: gefilte fish is a jewish cuisine, bubbie.)
Now for post 3, entitled “HELP ME BILL GOLDBERG!!!!!!!!!!!”:
Oh my god, you guys! I think I’m being watched after I posted the boycott message!
I was walking to school today and this Mercedes was following me REAL SLOW! I looked over and a big guy stuck his head out of the window and said “Keep your mouth shut, Jewboy!” IT WAS BATISTA!
Then I went to my cafeteria and got some tater tots. I looked up and noticed my cafeteria lady looked funny. She said “Meeeeeeeeeeean Tommy! Wooo! Triple H is watching you, keep your mouth shut if you know what’s good for you! Wooo!” IT WAS RIC FLAIR DRESSED AS A WOMAN!
Then I was walking back home and the same Mercedes pulled me over, IT WAS TRIPLE H! He told me he would hurt my dog if I ever told anyone what he did to my neighbor and told me to call off the boycott.
Guys, I am really scared! Please help me Bill Goldberg! You’re the only man on the planet who can save me now! I know your secret, Bill. You are unstoppable because you are the Jewish messiah we’ve been waiting for. You MUST use your godly powers to fight off this Satanic Evolution. WE NEED YOU! Triple H is the second coming of Adolf Hitler! I know it and I know you know it, we both read the Kabbalah, it’s on page 72. I’m going to go stand outside in my yard and chant the magic call that will get your attention. Gooooldberg! Gooooldberg! Gooooldberg! Gooooldberg!
i THOUGHT you were a good kid. now I hope you get SPEARED in the pants By Micheal Jackson
I’m serious! HHH is out to get me! Bill! Help!
Actually, I thought it was pretty freaking funny. Such a creative person, I know that I couldnt come up with anything as good as that. At times I try, but to no avail.
(See, we do have new fans there!)
Okay, now this gets fun.
After that, our site went down for a few hours, some of the posters on Goldberg’s site started crowing that they caused it, which was not true, it was probably a bandwidth overload since we’ve had more visitors than ever to our website in the last month. I’d like to think my addition to the site was responsible :)
So, with Lethal down, I decided to take a look at BG.com to see what they were saying about it. Our fearless leader, Barbwire Mike, went in to set the record straight
The only thing that was even considered "gray area" was the use of images that originally appeared here, which were removed.
EVERYTHING else is, without qusetion, within our rights and if you'll think about it outside the context of this site vs. ours for a second you'll probably be glad that's the case.
I'm not some idiot teen using dad's computer. I'm a trained student of journalism who's FAVORITE COLLEGE COURSE EVER was the one on media law. We're very obviously a parody site, which means we can go so far as to suggest incest in an outhouse without ever breaking a sweat. As for the re-posting of things in this forum... that's what's known as "public domain" (and the fact it was spelled properly if nothing else suggests I'm a little more knowledgeable than whoever suggested we were guilty of "slanderment.")
Best advice I can ever give anyone on any forum discussing any topic EVER: It's the Internet... lighten the f--k up.
That said, I welcome any of you who saw lethal wrestling for the first time within the last couple of days to look around at the stuff that DOESN'T involve this site. You just might have some fun.
Actually, I wasn't thinking in the contect of "this site vs. yours". What I was saying is that freedom of speech only goes so far, and isn't necessarily allowed everywhere one might think it is. That's great. I'm glad you're taking the steps to better yourself and I wish you well in the future.
Likewise, I am no idiot teen myself sitting behind a keyboard spouting off profound language for attention. I have studied to great extents many different subjects from computer architecture (specifically x86 segments), space exploration and planetary theory, philosophy, and yes, some law.
You may be within your right to post stuff on your site as a parody, that much I am not arguing, but coming here with the language and "invading" our site isn't necessarily allowable by law either. You know, I agree whole-heartedly. However, the whole point of the internet is to bring people with particular interests together. We come to this site because we all have an interest in Goldberg the person and wrestler. We are having our fun in our little section of this vast internet, and certainly don't go looking to pick fights with other people. For your members to come here and do this to us, even if merely for your own personal amusement, certainly doesn't follow your own guidelines for lightening up. If you don't like Goldberg, then fine, so be it. It's you're right. But we certainly don't want to have to read it in every thread of ours.
I understand that some of our members have gone to your site, but at least it was an attempt to understand why you guys do things instead of infiltrating your site with the intention to pick a fight with it's members. It wasn't really a calling for everyone to come here and talk like idiots (obviously trying to call Goldberg fans morons) and spew all sorts of racial slurs and such. That much is not protected under the First Amendment because this site is privately owned by Bill Goldberg, even if it is open to the public.
More or less, if you think us morons for licking someone that you can't fathom deserves a fanbase, then fine, so be it. That's your right, by why come here and interrupt our fun? No offense, and I really mean that, but I grew out of picking on other people after I graduated high school. Picking on people's spelling, even though some might just scream "I CANT SPELT WURTH A DAAM", is still no reason to laugh at the uneducated. I prefer to take the stance of helping them understand the importance of typing and spelling right so that they don't look so dumb to everyone else.
The whole mentality of going after the weakest of the bunch just seems like you'd have to have low self esteem if you have to pick on people like that. There'll always be people that just can't afford to finish off school for some reason of poverty or another, and it might not be their fault. Making fun of them is only attempting to make oneself look smarter and superior to another man's discontent. Perhaps those people feel bad for the situation they're in and can do nothing about it.
I, myself, have a twisted sense of humor on many things, but that's just not one of them. Thanks for the offer, but no thanks. (By the way, I have visited your site to see what it's all about, and the general impression I get is that of a bunch of people picking on everyone else that is believed to be dumber then they are - a superiority complex?)
My name is AWC, I'm a writer at Lethal. You guys really need to get a sense of humor. This is BILL F*CKING (since you censor cursing) GOLDBERG WE'RE TALKING ABOUT! You guys want to get all serious and threaten to sue us over making fun of some has-been wrestler? And WE'RE the ones who need to get a life?! I've seen less serious Jesus sites. Please, get a sense of humor. And a spell checker.
A website IS NOT PRIVATE PROPERTY, it's a public domain, yours even more so since registration isn't involved for the forum. You have zero grounds for a lawsuit. Ban us if you don't like us, it's the most you can do. Sorry, kiddo. You should have stayed awake in Criminal Justice class.
Again, no lawsuit is possible. I have alread admitted that. Please read what I have typed before misunderstanding my statements.
I realize that this is BILL ••••••• GOLDBERG, and we happen to be fans, as hard as that might be for you to understand.
I never said anything about anyone needing to get a life, again, another misread. For being a forum writer, you sure seem to miss the important parts of one's post.
." On the contrary, a website is considered private even if it's open to the public domain. As I've said in my last post, that you've obviously failed to read thorougly, that we have every right to remove you but I never said a lawsuit was possible. What I specifically said was: "While I know that a lawsuit certainly isn't probable, I hate to tell you that you are not protected under the First Amendment Rights."
CMan, I wasn't referring to your claims of a lawsuit (but I was curious about what "justice" you want "served") I got a e-mail from one of your forum members saying I should be sued for "slandering" Goldberg in a post. I know he doesn't speak for you, but my point was everything we do at Lethal falls under parody, from me making fun of Roddy Piper and Jeff Jarrett being addicted to meth to Barbwire Mike taking X-Pac and Chyna on Judge Judy to Jun doing "Fun With Forums".
(EDITORS NOTE: The guy really seemed to think everything I said was directed at him. He doesn’t have an ego does he?)
There’s also the issue with the 13 year old, 997zSS or some shit, who was offended by us stealing images from the site, but didn’t think twice about threatening to shoot us in the head if he saw us. But that cunt doesn’t deserve a part on my post. Except for that. And that.
So, that’s where we stand right now. Lethal will be here for a long time, motherfuckers!