The mission for round five, get to the Goldberg forums, post three times, and see what the hell happens. Simple.
This is, of course, a repost, so I will recreate it to the best of my ability. I went to the forums there and I....
YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! JUST SAY! JUST SAY! YOU NO POST ON FOUR-UMM!
Actually, Two-Move, let's discus this. I posted there, three times exactly.
I NO SEE "CLYDE" THERE! YOU LIE! YOU NEVER POST....
Listen closely, Universal Soldier, I didn't USE the name "Inside Clyde," I used "Birkenau".
HAHH! THAT STUPID NAME! HOW YOU COME UP WITH THAT NAME! RAHRRR!!
It's the name of a concentration camp. Quite a famous one, actually.
None of your "smartest fans in wrestling" seemed to have picked up on that. They even called me by that name on the board.
I've got a steel plate under my jersey.
...NEVER MIND. FUCKER! AHHRRR!!! FUR IS MURDER!
So I posted as "Birkenau" three times. The first time:
I have come to the message boards for months now and never posted. I feel the need to post now after everything I have read and seen. I think those guys are jerks, and they need an education about The Man, Goldberg.
Goldberg is a favorite to most wrestling fans because he's not only a GREAT WRESTLER but a GREAT PERSON. In such a short time, he made himself one of the biggest stars wrestling has ever seen. I've written about wrestling for years, and my thesis in college was even about wrestling, specifically about Goldberg and his impact with fans. I called it "The Return of the Good Guy in American Wrestling." I plan on expanding on my thesis for my Master's thesis. If any of you have good stories about Goldberg (whether personal contact or not...anything you know about him would be great, even personal testimonies about what he means to you) feel free to share them with me via e-mail (I would say don't put them here because of those a**holes.)
I am sorry if I'm coming across to harsh, but I get so mad when people are so ignorant! But I love this site, love you guys for being so strong and posting here and I LOVE GOLDBERG! I'm gong to look back at my thesis and tell you some Goldberg facts that you may or may not know about the POSITIVE impact he's made in wrestling in America.
My e-mail is firstname.lastname@example.org If you are going to flame me, be warned I'll take any legal methods needed to insure my privacy. I have some computer skills of my own as well, so if you have evil in your heart, not only will karma get you (as people on this board have rightfully said) but I might, too! ;)
I revieced e-mails praising me, and an assurance that my implied services as a "hacker" might be needed. I even got help on how to register properly on the forum! How nice! Second post:
Here's something a wrote about nine months ago that sums up what the problem with the Lethal Wrestling a**holes might be.
In my paper (a thesis called "The Return of the Good Guy in American Wrestling") I said of Goldberg, "...in the age of the 'anti-hero' and cheering the heels [bad guys] for it's own sake, Goldberg stands as a reminder not only of more innocent times in professional wrestling, but of better times as well. Goldberg not only serves as a role model in his wrestling character (outside of a brief stint as a 'heel' at the behest of Vince Russo, ironically the father of the 'anti-hero' age in wrestling) but in his actual, 'real life' character as well.
Goldberg is active in defending animal rights, and vocal about his charity work. He does not get into trouble with the law (refer back to the section entitled 'Wrestlers as Outlaws in the Real World') and he is one of the few wrestlers to truly connect with female fans, adult male fans, and children. He is a beacon of light in the increasing darkness of modern pro wrestling, and the increasing darkness that entertainment in general has become in this country...."
Anyway, you get the point. Goldberg is great. I really hope he isn't retiring. If anyone wants to read the whole thesis (it's pretty long) I'll happily e-mail it to you. I'm going to post tommorow the ten greatest Goldberg moments. It'll be a great trip down memory lane for the fans on "The Man!"
P.S. Some of those a**holes wrote me. I didn't read their e-mails, I just deleted 'em. I could tell by their Subject lines what juvenille punks they are. At least they indirectly led to me finally posting and registering here!
Number of people who wanted to read my "thesis," 2. And an instruction to "stand by while they discuss what they are going to do to Lethal using my skills." On to the last post.
To all the Goldberg haters out there, let's see you stack up any wrestling star's ten best moments in history to these!
GOLDBERG'S TEN GREATEST MOMENTS
1. It has to be ripping his own arm open hitting the limo window after forgetting the pipe that would have made breaking the window possible. By injuring himself, Goldberg insured the death of WCW! Thanks big guy!
2. Looking so confused when he wrestled William (then Steven) Regal in WCW because he actually had to WRESTLE that they, of course, fired Regal after screaming at him, "You made the man [Goldberg] look like a fool!" I think God beatcha to it, Regal!
3. Goldberg knocking himself out by spearing the ringpost with his head BECAUSE HE FORGOT TO TURN HIS HEAD OUT OF THE WAY was pretty awesome
4. Throwing a wild kick to Bret Hart's head, effectively ending his career. Hart, who wrestled for more than two decades without injuring anyone, gets his career ended by an errant move from a guy who is to wrestling what the recent Tsunami was to crop irrigation.
5. Asking Scott Hall to use a real cattle prod when Goldy jobbed to Nash for the first time. In the effort to achieve "realism" Goldberg took the shocks, which managed strangely to make his sells look fake.
6. Slipping on the floor in the WWF while performing his lethal "punch-punch-KICK" to the air while coming to the ring against Kane. Good stuff.
7. Challenging Stone Cold to a fight on Jay Leno no ratings bump or crowd reaction. Challenging Triple H to a fight in a press conference to little fanfare or press coverage. Jobbing to both of them in one form or another during his tenure in the WWE? Priceless, and proof of karma.
8. His wire hanger abortion of a book. That book is so bad that everyone involved with it should be saying "I'm Next" while in line for a firing range.
9. Being a big part of the night that WCW started to die. Goldberg getting arrested for stalking Liz. One star. Goldberg's acting while talking to the "cops". Two stars. Goldberg not being in the main event he was billed in "to get his revenge on Nash". Three stars. Goldberg taking 30 minutes to get to the arena after being released...when the police station was shown to be ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE ARENA. Four stars. Goldberg, after all that, getting punked by the NWO and having a yellow streak painted on him. Five stars, and the first nail in WCW's coffin. WAY TO BE, BILLY!
...and number ten of course, the Goldberg/Brock match at Wrestlemania XX, when the unsilent majority of wrestling fans finally truly made their voices heard by booing those two sacks of garbage away from the ring, where Brock could follow Goldberg as a failure in the NFL.
MATCH THAT, WRESTLING "STARS"!
When I wrote this post the first time, there wasn't any fallout (I had posted it minutes before my round 5 post here) but I see that people have responded to me on the board, and now I'm getting a host of e-mails telling me they "knew it all along" that I was Birkenau (though none of them seem to realize I am named after a concentration camp...being repeatedly referred to as "Birkenau" is a bit strange. In any case, I feel like I made some friends over at Goldberg's site, and that feels good. Not as good as relieving yourself, of course.