Sorry that I'm running late this week. There's just too much stuff going on in my world right now to get all of it done in a timely fashion. I like this internet gig. It gets me all kinds of pussy*, but it doesn't pay very well. So when push comes to shove, I push at my "real job" and give Lethal the shove to the back burner.

But hey, I'm here, you're here - let's make something happen. (You'd be amazed how many times that line has gotten me laid).**

Anyway, let's go...

In this picture, Stone Cold:
A. Scratches his chin thoughtfully
B. Picks Nutter Butter crumbs from his beard
C. Shows us his favorite place to hit Debra: "Right in the fucking mush"

In this picture:
A. JR makes his triumphant return to RAW
B. JR knows the answer to Teacher's question
C. Goldberg has really let himself go since his WCW days

In this picture:
A. The opening segment on RAW is centered on four non-wrestlers
B. Stone Cold has a headache
C. Stone Cold shows another favorite place to hit Debra: "Right on the side of the head"

In this picture:
A. Subcommander Venus is preparing to once again going to count the lights
B. Jerry Lawler delivers a scintillating "Memphis-style" piledriver
C. Jerry Lawler shows that he still has "it" (if by "it", you mean the inability to work a decent match)

In this picture:
A. Coach receives a Stunner
B. Stone Cold validates Teddy Long's claims of racism
C. JR and Coach showcase their ability to work the WWE "main event style"

In this picture:
A. Stacy takes a measure of Steiner and Test's biceps
B. Stacy insists there is enough of her for everybody to get a piece
C. Test, much like a parakeet, is threatened and confused by his reflection in the mirror

In this picture, RVD is thinking:
A. "I hope I land correctly."
B. "I'll be back in the main event any day now."
C. "I could sure go for some Funyons and Pop Tarts."

In this picture:
A. Kane and RVD celebrate another victory
B. Kane asserts his Alpha Male position by pulling on RVD's girlish hair
C. RVD is still thinking about Funyons and Pop Tarts

In this picture, Stone Cold:
A. Lays down the law with Eric Bischoff
B. Doesn't want to share his beer with Eric Bischoff
C. Shows Eric Bischoff how he likes to judo chop Debra on the collarbone

In this picture, Chris Jericho:
A. Is proud of his custom-made carpet
B. Is attacked by two gigantic aliens from Dimension X
C. Finally has a set that doesn't look like it was stolen from Pier One Imports

In this picture, a bleeding Triple H:
A. Pleads for mercy
B. Gestures proudly at the two members of the audience who are still enjoying this segment
C. Insists it was Trish Stratus who stole Nash's expensive conditioner

In this picture, Triple H:
A. Attacks Kevin Nash with a light fixture
B. Waves his magical wand +5 of quad-healing over Nash's leg
C. Waves his cursed wand -5 of ratings-killing over Nash's leg

In this picture, an enraged Kevin Nash:
A. Chases Triple H
B. Snarls like a wild (yet horribly crippled and lazy) animal
C. Wants his hair dryer back, and now!

In this picture, Stone Cold asks Chris Jericho:
A. "Why do you insist on starting fights?"
B. "Whatcha got in the cup?"
C. "Isn't it funny how I don't wrestle anymore, but still make more than you?"

In this picture:
A. Booker T hits an axe-kick
B. Lance Storm willingly bends over to accept his punishment from Master Booker
C. Lance strongly regrets pulling Booker's finger

In this picture, The Unwashables say:
A. Nothing of importance
B. "We are French, and therefore stupid and dirty."
C. "If you stopped bathing and shaving your underarms, we'd totally rock your world."

A good name for this picture would be:
A. "Jazz triumphant"
B. "Man arms"
C. "Coco want banana"

In this picture, Goldberg:
A. Shrugs off the sparklies
B. Has a look of determination in his eye
C. Is proud of his special pants

In this picture:
A. Goldberg asks Stone Cold an important question
B. Stone Cold falls for the old "Your shoe's untied" trick
C. Stone Cold is ashamed to admit that he hasn't hit Debra in almost four days

In this picture, Stone Cold:
A. Drinks his beers
B. Violates his probation
C. Decides whether to use a bat or a pipe on Debra when he gets home

In this picture, Goldberg:
A. Celebrates with Stone Cold
B. Commits a huge party foul
C. Shows everybody how he can drink with his neck and pectoral muscles

A good name for this picture would be:
A. "Bring on the beer"
B. "Bring on the bitches"
C. "Bring on CSI. Please."

In this picture:
A. Vince McMahon asserts that Hulk Hogan is Mr. America
B. Vince McMahon delivers yet another "great" opening segment
C. Somebody is very fond of the letter "J"

In this picture, Hulk Hogan:
A. Denies that he is Mr. America
B. Takes another opportunity to pimp his horrible book
C. Contemplates how he can best hold down younger talent

A good name for this picture would be:
A. "Meeting of the minds"
B. "Orange monster via satellite"
C. "Idiot/counter-idiot"

In this picture, Los Guererereeoeoreoreoreors say:
A. "We have Kurt Angle's medals."
B. "We wouldn't be here if it weren't for NAFTA."
C. "These would easily sell for 60 cents in Mexico."

In this picture, Matt Hardy is:
A. Victorious
B. Stunned
C. Retarded

In this picture, Brian Kendrick is:
A. Performing a high-risk maneuver
B. In desperate need of a haircut
C. Working hard for his $31,500 a year

In this picture, John Cena:
A. Meets Mr. America
B. Looks confused
C. Is wearing a Cub Scout hat

In this picture, Josh Matthews:
A. Interviews Brock Lesnar
B. Is "Tough Enough" to hold a microphone
C. Is making fart noises with his lips

In this picture:
A. Funaki is excited
B. Funaki doesn't understand a word Vince just said
C. Vince cautions Funaki not to eat anybody's cat

In this picture:
A. Vince tries to unmask Mr. America
B. Mr. America refuses to spit out his gum
C. Vince performs an emergency tracheotomy on Mr. America

In this picture:
A. Vince has high blood pressure
B. Mr. America points at a giant tomato
C. Orange monster fights pink monster

Writing a caption for this photo:
A. Has left me in an aroused state, fumbling for the Kleenex box
B. Will take me five minutes to type, as I am only using one hand
C. Will necessitate the smoking of a cigarette afterwards

In this picture, Torrie Wilson:
A. Looks to the ring
B. Makes me reach for the Kleenex again
C. Stares at the haunting visage of her great-grandmother's animated corpse

In this picture, Rhyno:
A. Stares down John Cena
B. Thinks "If this were ECW, I would have already gored and pinned you."
C. Misses special "guy time" with Paul Heyman

In this picture, the FBI:
A. Talk gibberish from the back of a truck
B. Wonder if they'll ever wrestle a match again
C. Intensify Smackdown's "suck factor" by four

In this picture, Albert congratulates FBI for:
A. Wasting at least ten minutes of TV time per week
B. Not getting fired
C. Sucking worse than he does

In this picture, Big Show:
A. Talks to Albert about his upcoming opponents
B. Shows Albert his prescription spoon, which allows him to eat five times as fast as a normal human being
C. Is shooting the pilot for Spike TV's newest crime series: "Ham, She Wrote."

In this picture, Big Show:
A. Enjoys a main event push
B. Kicks a broken and battered Brock Lesnar
C. Prepares to roll Brock Lesnar over, just to make sure he's not laying on his ham

Woo hoo! Another one in the bag. And poor Big Show still hasn't found his ham! Maybe next week. (Yeah, like I'm going to kill the only running gag I have right now).

But before I go, it's time to introduce the all-new, totally-interactive, play-along-at-home version of "What's Going On?" Each week, I will pick one photo, and give you, the reader, the opportunity to caption it, I.E. tell me "What's Going On." (Get it?)

Here is this week's photo:

Submit your hilarious caption right here. The best caption will be published next week (and by week, I mean 6-10 days). If your caption is published, you will receive an extra-special bonus prize!***

Too lazy to enter the contest? Then you better at least show me some love.

Until next time, I remain the Great and Terrible (but mostly terrible) NormanB

AIM NormanB258
Pssst... Only 34 days and counting. Details to follow!