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For Episode One For last week's Episode  written by Inside Clyde illustrations by Stephen Melkanos Episode Ten Crossroads Rehabilitation Center, Caribbean island of Antigua Week One: You see Benoit sitting at a small, simple desk in a tiny but clean room. He has a pad of paper in front of him, and a bottle of water.  Okay. Journal entry. He’s been trying unsuccessfully to write something in his journal. The first few days, he could chalk that up to going through the rapid detox, then getting used to the routine of the place. But now he has more time alone, and writing in this journal is supposed to be part of it. He picks up the water bottle, feels that it’s empty and laughs. Guess I have to get more. He walks into his tiny bathroom. He spent a couple of nights continually running here, quickly kneeling, trying to throw up. The rapid detox should have made a physical reaction to purging himself unnecessary, but the doctor says that sometimes the body wants to kick stuff out anyway. Benoit fills his water bottle at the sink and goes back to his desk. A glass with ice would be nice. Benoit misses the act of drinking even more than the effect. Pour, hear the clink of ice, lift, drink, set glass down, repeat. It’s how he used to feel about weight lifting. Repetition combined with feeling the effect on your body. It felt constructive. He writes that down. “Drinking felt constructive.” He looks down at what he wrote and adds, “But it wasn’t.” Hmmm. “Ways I’ve Been Constructive.” It’s a start I guess. “Gemini Dragon.” Chris nods. Did good there. He’s probably wrestling right now, headlining as the PCW Champion, feuding with Styles. Sure wish I could have seen that first thing with the WWE. No telling what the WWE and PCW are doing to one another. When’s Wrestlemania? If I do good I’ll be out in time. If I do good. I’m fucking ten years old now? Wait. Long pause. There’s other stuff besides wrestling in the world. “Family.” Not lately, maybe, but I think I can say that. First marriage didn’t work, but my girl Megan’s awesome. So great. Can’t wait to get mail, and see what she says. Hope she isn’t ashamed. Hope Nancy understands. She will. So will our kids. They will. What am I supposed to write about? What led me here. He starts to write “Hogan” but crosses it out. I should talk to the doctor, the therapist about that. Confidentiality that way. I don’t like him, though. How could anyone possibly understand me like that? I’m a wrestler. I’m a wrestler. Someone who has been watching Benoit through a door slightly ajar quietly closes it. ………………… Week Two: You see Benoit in a line with a few in front of him. They are lining up for meds. Benoit wants to get back to his journal. He has a number of ideas brewing in his head about what to do when he starts having a say with PCW. Nurse. Next. Benoit, Chris. She nods and hands him a tiny paper cup. He looks down. There’s the natural herb detoxifiers that make him take those nasty dredge up your entire gastrointestinal past type of shits, and vitamins. That’s it? The nurse looks at him. That’s it. Chris smiles and starts to walk away. You still have to take them in front of me. Chris faces the nurse again. She’s holding a cup of water. Chris tosses the pills in his mouth, takes the cup of water and swallows it down. He sticks his tongue way out, moves it around so the nurse can see that his mouth is empty. She nods, and he walks away. Chris’ therapist walks by. Hello, Chris, how are things? Congratulations. You’re completely off of… Sorry, Doc. I’ll see you during our time. There’s something I just have to write down before I forget. Chris walks quickly away. The Doctor looks at his back, narrows his eyes and seems to have decided something. A union for the boys that will work. A union for the boys that will… Benoit passes an orderly mopping, who he brushes by. Benoit makes a small noise that passes for an apology, but he doesn’t break stride. The orderly turns his head in Benoit’s direction. I’m cleaning here! The orderly goes back to his work. I’m going to cleanse later, too. The orderly starts humming a quiet tune and smiles. ………………… Week Three: Benoit’s in the ring with Brian Pillman, who is stalking around the ring with that wide-eyed look he became famous for. They are both young men, the prime of their wrestling lives. They are in the ECW arena. You know what a smart mark is, Benoit? Benoit rushes Pillman, who easily leapfrogs over him. Benoit snaps against the ropes and eats a Pillman dropkick, sending him over the ropes and to the floor hard. Should I fall next to you, Crippler, so you can kill me, too? The crowd delivers a loud, collective, “ooooooooh!” Benoit slowly stands up, feelings of rage and shame fighting in his chest. Pillman leaps over the ropes and catches Benoit perfectly, sending the small of his back against the steel rail. Both men topple over the rail and into the stands. Fans are holding bottles. Pillman grabs a bottle and smashes it over Benoit’s head. Benoit feels blood flowing, and also the sting of alcohol and broken glass in his cut. He slumps to the floor. Drinks are on tha Cripplah! Pillman starts grabbing plastic cups from fans and pours the contents onto Chris. Instead of beer, Benoit tastes burboun. Part of him wants to stay there and keep having Pillman pour. Benoit shakes his head and stands up, attempting to deliver a chop. Pillman leaps back unnaturally, all the way back to the center of the ring. Too slow, Crippler. You stole Ray Steven’s gimmick, and you move like him, too. But that motherfucker’s dead. What’s your excuse? Benoit charges the ring, sliding under the bottom rope. Pillman puts the boots to him. Benoit struggles to move. The crowd is chanting at the top of its lungs. Pillman! Pillman! Pillman! Benoit can see the words in his head as the crowd instensifies their chant to the beat of Pillman’s stomps. Pillman! Pillman! Pill-man! Pill-man! The chant picks up the pace. Pill! Pill! Pill! Pill! Man! Man! Man! Benoit grumbles to himself. Pill. I want pills. Pills, man. Benoit laughs, and Pillman kicks him in the teeth, and Benoit’s mouth explodes in tooth shards and blood. Benoit collapses. Chris runs the tip of his tongue along the jagged edges of his broken front teeth. You know what I’m gonna do? Since he’s pissing all over his legacy, I’m going to do the same. Time to whip out the “loose cannon!” Pillman starts taking out his cock. Benoit struggles to look up, and sees Nancy, his kids, and Gemini Dragon running to the ring…but in slow motion. The crowd around them yells and moves in real time, his saviors run as if trapped in amber. Don’t worry, Cripplah, it’ll taste like bourbon. You’ll love it! Benoit notices that a row of fans in the back of the arena have signs spelling out WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Suddenly, Benoit can move. He lowblows Pillman, doubling him over. He grabs Pillman and pulls him down in the Crippler Crossface. The crowd goes totally quiet. Benoit can hear Pillman’s groaning, and actually hear his bones rend and his head tear away from his body. Benoit stands and holds Pillman’s head up towards the crowd. They are still silent, and look at Benoit disapprovingly. Benoit walks over to a corner of the ring, reaches over, and spikes Pillman’s head on the ringpost. He walks towards the center of the ring again, and notices that his saviors are not there anymore. He hears a whisper of air moving behind him, then feels the impact to the back of his head and neck. Here we go Dynamite, here we go! Here we go Dynamite, here we go! The crowd punctuates each chanted line with two perfect hand claps. Benoit feels the blood throb from his head and mouth with each clap, like a heartbeat. Cheers, Benny. You still know how to fight. You’re bollocks next to me, though. Benoit rises from the mat and looks around, his head ringing from the top rope dropkick he just took. It is, indeed the Dynamite Kid, in all his glory. You no-selling me, eh? Have to knock you about for that, Benny. Dynamite rushes forward. Benoit attempts a left-armed clothesline. Dynamite ducks, then levels Benoit with a dropkick when they face one another. Dynamite kips up, give the crowd the bird, and they go wild again. Still throwin’ that bleedin’ left hand lariat, eh? Tsk, tsk, Benny. It’s Benoit. Huh. Benoit, eh? More like Dynamite Jr., you bloody copycat. Dynamite rushes Benoit. Benoit gets to his feet, slides around Dynamite with a waistlock, and excecutes a German suplex. He rises with Dynamite still in his grasp and delivers another. Dynamite mulekicks Benoit low before another can be delivered, then turns and hooks him for the snap suplex. Ain’t nothin’ like the real thing, you fuckin’ jack ‘o lantern. Dynamite snaps Chris over, but Benoit puts his arms out in front of him and does a front handspring to his feet. Benoit turns and rushes Dynamite as he kips up again with his back towards the Crippler, and takes him down in the Crossface. The crowd goes silent again. Benoit shifts his body back and forth, slowly urging Dynamite’s head off his body. Benoit puts Dynamite’s head on the post opposite from Pillman’s. Benoit feels like this will create a barrier that no one can get through. I lie, I cheat, I steal. But I never killed anyone, esse! Das your trip, ‘omes! You ready for the final fight? Eddie is standing center ring. He is magnificent. The “Eddie” chants shake the walls. Eddie Guerrero… Glad you remember my name, ay? I figured you didn’t remember, that’s why you never found my grave to visit. I… You suck, gringo. We’re not going to fight. Not like you fought them. We’re going to see, ay? See who love who the most. Eddie is instantly upon Benoit, hugging him. Benoit can hear his spine pop and wheeze as it’s compresed. Benoit on instinct hugs Eddie back. He can see over Eddie’s shoulder on a screen that this arena never had. It shows them locked in an embrace. Just like at the end of a Wrestlemania where it was all supposed to begin again. Begin. Again. Benoit squeezes harder. He feels his own spine snap and his legs go numb. He squeezes anyway. He feels Eddie nod his head against his face. There you go. Don’t give up, bro. You fight until you die. And you die standing up. Benoit is shocked as Eddie’s body suddenly gives way, crushing inward. It suddenly disappears, and Benoit is in the ring alone. He looks up, and suddenly the roof of the arena opens up and Benoit feels his body lifting. He looks down at the ring and hears the bell. Ding-ding-ding!  Benoit snaps awake. He needs. Needs what? Not a drink. Not a pill. Needs to talk. Needs to tell someone. He looks at his clock radio. The alarm is still ringing. Benoit shuts it off. Time for his session with the doc. Benoit bounds out of bed, eager for the first time in weeks to talk. The doc might not be exactly right for this, but it beats keeping silent. Benoit moves quickly out of his room, down the hall, through the common area, through a guarded door with a quick nod of thanks to the guard for opening it, down the hall, to the doc’s office. A quick knock, and Benoit steps in. And sees Jake “The Snake” Roberts. Welcome to my parlor, said the spider to the fly. Have a seat, Chris. Or lay down if you like. ………………… Week Four: So Chris. This is our silver anniversary. Jake is sitting with his right leg crossed over his left, scribbling on a notepad resting on his bent leg. His bifocals rest at the end of his nose. Benoit is laying down on a leather couch and craning his neck to get a look at Jake. Silver? What are you…what? This is our twenty-fifth session. Really? Really. In just over a week, we’ve talked twenty-five times. Sometimes an hour, sometimes more. But this is #25. Is that bad? Nope. On the contrary. Physically, you already kicked the booze and the pills. Technology has reached the point where the physical cravings and your bodies need for those things can be removed. You had already purged your body, and were at a stage where your treatment was done in the physical sense. But what? I’m still crazy or something? I don’t want the pills. Or the liquor. That’s true, too. If you’ll notice, though, we haven’t talked about either of those things at all. Not much, anyway. We’ve been talking about your life, about wrestling, about the WWE and PCW. We talked about Hogan and why you killed him. We’ve talked about your family, dealt with your guilt regarding your kids and your first wife. You know what we haven’t talked about? What’s that. You. You work here? Jake laughs. Nope. Not usually. Your doc thought you weren’t responding to him, so they found me. That’s what I do now, mostly; help wrestlers with their addictions. Who’d know better, right? You don’t even sound the same. I can still slip into gimmick. I can do “The Snake” when I have to. But now I know there’s a difference between Jake Roberts and Aurelian Jake Smith, Jr. It took a long time. But I know. And instead of hating wrestling for what my life was, I decided to make something out of myself that could contribute. You forgot to put the “doctor” in front of your name. That I’m still not used to. So what do you want your life to be? I…I’m not sure. I want wrestling to be better. I really do. I think PCW can be, what’s the word, a model? Yeah, a model of what wrestling should be. I can help make that happen. Was killing Hogan necessary? I don’t know. I think Hogan just got the bad end of the deal. I mean, I was torn up about Flair. Still am even though we weren’t that close. I have no love for Hogan, don’t get me wrong. When I watched him give that promo, I was angry. But you know what I felt more? What? Pity. Pity for the man. I felt bad for him because with all the money he’s made in the business, and all the fame, he knows deep down that he was never an artist, he was just good at making money. And it killed him. Literally, thanks to you. Benoit sits up in the couch. He looks at Jake. Yeah. I don’t know what I should do about that. About Hogan? What do you think? You’re the fucking psychologist. Psychiatrist. What’s the difference? It’s the difference between being Intercontinental and World Champ. Benoit laughs. You were neither. Jake raises an eyebrow. Touche’. I feel like I should make amends. I’m not sure how I’ll do that, but I will. Somehow. Hmmm. Jake puts down his notepad. He looks at Chris, putting both feet on the floor and leaning forward. This is going to sound stupid, but how do you feel, Chris? I feel good. Well, clean anyway. Not just from the shit that got me in here. I feel ready, I guess. Don’t guess. I feel ready. I just feel shaky saying that. I don’t want to fuck up. Jake nods. What I’m going to say next, what I’m going to show you…it isn’t part of any recommended treatment for you. But I think you should know. Um, okay? It’s not going to be easy to take. But I wouldn’t be able to sleep well knowing I sent you back into the fray without knowing this. Jake, go ahead. I’m ready. Jake hesitates, studies Benoit’s face, then gets a folder. He pulls out some newspaper clippings. He hands them to Benoit, who reads the headlines out loud. Warrior Killed. Undertaker Missing. Former Wrestling Star Regal… Chris’ eyes get big and he reads the article silently. He looks up at Jake. When…but I talked to him, he talked me into… It was probably seconds after you got off the phone with him. Someone was probably waiting near his office and killed Regal right after he got off the phone with you. Undertaker’s body turned up later. He was killed in-between Warrior and Regal. Put in a dumpster at an arena where the WWE worked a show. They found him in a landfill a week or so ago. People are scared shitless in the business. PCW and WWE shows have security like you wouldn’t believe. Have there been… Have there been others since you’ve been in here? No. But the WWE has been boosting their ratings lately, doing segments on their shows…investigation segments trying to track the killer, giving new “clues” about the cases…they’re calling it “The Hunt for the Kayfabe Killer.” Apparently the killer leaves a small piece of paper with “Kayfabe” written on it near the bodies. The WWE is offering a reward, and on each program they show “new evidence,” interview scared former superstars, that kind of thing. Their ratings are through the roof now. PCW is holding, but the WWE is still #1 by far. I can’t believe… Regal’s dead, Chris. I’m sorry, but he is. He’s dead, and someone killed him. Just like you killed Hogan. Benoit looks up at Jake with anger. I know that. Regal’s death burns doesn’t it? That’s what you left Hogan’s family with. You have to make peace somehow. That may lead you to a jail cell for the rest of your life. And that will lead to your kids not having a provider. This isn’t about booze and pills, you’re over that. This is about you making good choices from now on. The problem is, you’ve destroyed the roads to good choices. Now you can only make the best choices you can with the shit you’ve left in your wake. And there are consequences to every one of those choices that you aren’t going to like. I want to know what you’re going to do when that happens. Benoit drops his head. I don’t…I don’t know what I’m going to do. I wish I did. I want to be out in the world again. I wouldn’t use again, I know that much. Why haven’t you gone outside? We’re on Antigua, for Christ’s sake, at a top of the line resort that caters to celebrities. Why haven’t you gone outside in the yard and enjoyed the sun, Chris? I don’t deserve it. I’m not here for a vacation. I’m here to… Chris contemplates. He thinks about his family. About wrestling. About Gemini and Regal. About… He stands up. I’m here to ready myself for the end of my life. Jake looks up at Benoit. He stands and faces him. You know, making everything okay may be impossible. Not trying at all would guarantee that nothing will be okay. I have to go try. I think you’re ready to go. I’ll sign off on you. You’re free to go back. Jake puts his hand out.  Chris shakes his hand. Thank you. Don’t thank me. Thank Vince for paying for all of this. I get more to do this shit than I did bumping around. You’re an asshole. That’s Doctor Asshole to you, Crippler. The Snake grins. Benoit nods his head and smiles. Benoit strides out of the office with purpose. He goes through a mental checklist. Pack. Call Nancy and the kids. Call PCW. Get back. Go talk to Hogan’s family. EPISODE ELEVEN NEXT WEEK |