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For Episode One For Episode Two For Episode Three For Episode Four  written by Inside Clyde illustrations by Stephen Melkanos Episode Five January 29, 2021 -- Two days before the Royal Rumble Happy Birthday, Shane! You see a group of about seventy people are in an “Events” room at the Titan Tower. Shane McMahon has been led here by his sister and brother-in-law, and smiles at the well-wishers. I don’t know what to say, everybody… Hogan cups his hands around his mouth to be heard over the din of noise. Say you’ll sign me to a long-term deal instead of a pay per appearance! Many in the group laugh. Some of them actually mean it when they do. Well, I don’t know about that, but I’m flattered everyone, really. Stephanie puts her arm around her brother’s shoulder. Maybe next time we can actually do this on your birthday, instead of two weeks late! Everyone laughs. Shane oversells his embarrassment, covering his head in his arms. Hunter raises a glass, and everyone who has one does the same. Workers quickly scramble to make sure everyone has a glass of champagne in their hand. Everyone knows that the Rumble is in a couple of days. The buy rates are enormous. I’ve been asked many times who this “mystery #30” is going to be. Let me just say that all the hype, all the build-up will be worth it. Things are getting better around here, thanks in no small part to this man, Shane McMahon. Everyone knows, it’s no secret, that we don’t always see eye-to-eye… Shane mocks standing up to Hunter, looking mean and shaking his fists. When Shane stands on his tippy-toes to match height, everyone laughs again. Seriously, man…lately, we can all see the change. He’s joking around with everyone, he’s playing with the kids around the office, he’s having fun again. Which means we’re all having fun again. Hell, he’s finally letting us all party for his birthday…which really was two weeks ago. More laughter. So here’s to you, Shane, happy birthday. And all of the best. Everyone raises their glasses, sings “Happy Birthday” and drinks. Shane walks over to his WWE-logo cake and blows out the candles followed by a hearty cheer from the group. Then people start to eat, drink and be merry. Shane hugs his sister. Thanks for this. I need it. I’m so glad you seem happier, Shane. What did you wish for?  I can’t tell you that. If I do, it won’t come true. And I really want this one to come true. Excuse me. Shane walks towards Hogan, and surprises him by taking his face in his hands, and kissing him on each cheek. Hogan, I know it was you. You broke my heart, Hulkster, you broke my heart. Damn, Boss, you scared the hell out of me. So Hunter told me the basic finish of the Rumble. You’re number 29. There will be a few guys left in the ring, I think. Just take them out the best you can. When the last ten seconds go… I’m getting the last guy out, Benoit, right? My back’s to the ramp. Then big #30 comes and attacks me from behind. You got it. So who’s #30? Can’t say. With your “quest” and the #30 mystery, buy rates are huge. Between that and this new wrestling show starting up, we can’t risk telling anyone. Mister #30 knows the deal, though. He’ll jump on me, put some heat on me. I Hulk up and do my thing. Right, you got it. Miss the legdrop, and then he’ll toss you. You sure you can land on the apron and fall to the floor? I won’t go all the way over. Tell me about it, Shane thinks. He’ll eventually see you standing on the apron, come over and throw a kick… …I’ll duck it, grab him by the hair, and pull him over. You sure he can propel himself over all the way and through the announcer’s table? Oh yeah. This guy is a prime athlete. He’ll make you look like a million bucks. And he’ll make us all a lot more than that, am I right? Hogan laughs and hugs Shane. Shane’s face changes to one of scorn as he looks over Hogan’s shoulder and does his best to try and not squeeze Hogan to death. ………………… …so that’s what they’re telling Hogan. Benoit is in a Lear jet with Vince and Heyman. Bischoff is flying the plane. Paul is eating out of a bag of Cheetos. Who’s #30? I still don’t know. Look, do we really need to meet again like this? This is their third meeting in almost as many weeks. Each time, a new place to make sure he wasn’t followed and that nobody outside of this plane could know what was going on. I just need a “yes” or a “no” on my terms. Period. I already told you what’s going to happen on my end. That part is non-negotiable. Vince sips on a bottle of beer. You did, Chris, and we appreciate it. You have to understand. What you are asking is a lot. We were sort of hoping… You were hoping that I’d blow the whistle on Shane wanting me to off Hogan. I won’t do that. I want to kill Hogan. And I want to make my last statement in a WWE ring a memorable one, too. Don’t worry it’s all going to… I am worried, Chris. There’s so much that can go wrong with how you want to play this. Explain it to me again, please. It will make us all feel better. Okay. I’m just going to tell you what’s going to happen after the Rumble. When it’s all said and done, Hogan will be gone, and they’ll be left holding the bag without the main event of Wrestlemania that they wanted. The WWE’s new #1 star and impromptu Royal Rumble winner won’t be under contact anymore, and you’ll have him the next night on your show’s debut. I’m going to make that happen. I will. All I’m asking for is a long-term superstar’s deal for… Paul raises his voice. You? Is this what this is about? Is this why… Calm down, Paul. Let Chris finish. Go on, Chris. I want that deal for Gemini. He’s a great kid. He’s a star in the making. I also want all the contracts for the boys to be good ones. No shady deals. No taking advantage of anyone. Vince leans forward and puts his beer down. And what about you, Chris. What do you want? You haven’t told us. When I’m out of my WWE deal, I want in as a decision maker with you guys. I don’t have to be in charge of anything. I just want a say, and I want that say to count. Paul and Vince look at one another. Eric’s voice comes over the PA system and startles everyone. Benoit, how do we know we can trust you. Benoit speaks loudly so everyone can clearly hear. You don’t. All you have is my word. There’s a long period of silence. The grinding, whirring sound of the landing gear moving into place is suddenly cut by Bischoff’s voice. Yeah. Paul repeats. Yeah. Vince extends his hand. And that’s enough for us. Benoit takes and shakes his hand. ………………… A couple of hours later, you see Benoit walking around a wrestling ring in the middle of a small near-abandoned warehouse. It’s cold, and a plume of white smoke expands from Benoit as he paces back and forth, apparently trying to figure something out. Gemini Dragon is in the ring, and leans against the ropes while looking at his mentor. What’s going on, sir? Everything’s figured out, right? Are you looking for a better way for me to hold… Quiet. Benoit’s voice echoes in the dark space. He sets up a railing a few feet away from the edge of the ring. Is this about right? Gemini nods. Benoit sits down against the rail, facing the ring. Put your back against the rope, give me a pie-face bump, but fall back against the rail. Should I move over? If I do it from here, then I’ll fall into you. Turn. Bump. Now.  Gemini turns his back without a moment’s hesitation. He hooks the top rope with his left arm, and hurtles himself backwards feet over head. He flips and lands on his feet, then instantly lets his feet come out from underneath and strikes his back against the rail hard, creating a sound of steel scraping against the concrete floor that assaults your ears. Gemini’s neck rests in the crook of Benoit’s right arm. He feels Benoit touch his chin with his fingertips briefly before speaking. Okay, get in the ring. Fifty Regal Rolls, then go through the bump warm-up again without pads, then we’ll leave. Gemini slowly gets up. So are we still going with the finish in the Rumble that we talked about? Is this what you want me to do, or are you just figuring something… Fifty Regal Rolls, go through the bump warm-up again. Don’t make me stretch you. Nothing changes. Now shut up and get in the ring. Gemini leaps onto the apron, gets in the ring and starts rolling. Benoit looks on the wall at the only decoration in the room. It’s a poster for the Royal Rumble coming up on Sunday, January 31st. There’s a picture of Hogan from the waist up with his arms crossed. Around him are the faces of all the other men in the Rumble, with one face blacked out with a question mark over it. Benoit looks back at Gemini, who is too wrapped up in his bumps to notice anything else. Benoit looks back at the poster, focuses on Hogan, and raises the thumb on his right hand. The Crippler grits his teeth, closes his eyes, and makes a throat-slash gesture he hasn’t done in over a decade. ………………… Hunter opens the door to Shane’s office. You wanted to see me? Yeah I did. Shane stands up and walks past Hunter. Come with me a second. I want to show you something. Hunter walks next to Shane, who puts something in his hand. What’s this? Hunter looks and sees a small metal disk in the palm of his hand. It’s a bug. It was in the conference room. Above the light fixtures. I had every room in the Tower swept. Over a dozen bugs. No phone taps, though. Shane rounds the corner. So there’s…but you seem…. Happy? I am. Now I know I’m not crazy, and I’ve taken care of the problem. Except for one thing. Who’s the spy? That’s the problem. I don’t know yet. But I do know the spy has access to most, if not all, of the rooms in Titan Tower. I also know that the spy was right near me at Flair’s funeral. So it’s just a matter of giving the people who fall on that rather short list lie detector tests. But how will we get all those people together in time for… They were already here for my birthday celebration. And they’re in here… Shane opens the door to the main conference room. You see the following people hooked up to laptops in preparation for the lie-detection interrogation:  WWE Champion “The New Russian Nightmare” David Kholstin VP in charge of Public Relations, Ted DiBiase VP in charge of the Diva Division, Trish Stratus Michael Silek, Chief Financial Officer (board member) Robert A. Bowman, Chief Executive Officer of MLB Advanced Media (board member) Jerry Jarrett (board member) …I’ve already talked to all of them. Based on footage of the funeral and access privileges, this group of people represents the one who could be our spy. I’m getting to the bottom of this right now. This is…Shane, this is just… Completely necessary, I’m afraid. I can only assume that whoever this spy is, he’s working for that new wrestling group starting up the day after the Rumble. Going head to head against Raw. I can’t stop the information that’s already been given to our mysterious competitors, but I can find out who’s been keeping me up at night. I can find out who is in charge of this new wrestling group. And I can legally shut them down before they ever get started. Corporate piracy and spying is a crime, Hunter. And I’ll see to it that the people involved never even get to sweep out a wrestling ring again in this business. I…guess, Shane. If you think that it’s for the best. I do. It is for the best. And Hunter? Hunter looks around the room. Everyone hooked up to the various laptops have looks of confusion, nervousness, and annoyance mixed together. Hunter looks at Shane. Yeah? If you notice, there’s one space open. Just slide that silver glove onto your hand, and hook that clip onto your shirt somewhere near the middle of your chest. But…you can’t think… I won’t think in a little while. I’ll know. Sit down and do it, Hunter. In just a few questions I’ll know who our spy is, and they’ll be dealt with. Kholstin looks over at Hunter, who is sitting down with a dumbfounded look on his face. DiBiase mutters a quiet prayer. Stratus moves some hair out of her face. Silek, Bowman and Jarrett look at one another, each trying to read the face of the others. Shane stands at the front of the room and grips the podium with both hands. Now, everyone. First question. Answer out loud, please, with a “yes” or a “no” only. Have you been engaging in acts of spying recently? Their voice sounds out as one. No. Shane questions the group again and again, over a hundred questions over the course of an hour. Sometimes he asks an individual to respond. Mostly, the group responds together with a droning sound of “no…no…no….” repeated and unwavering like a mantra. After the questions are finally finished, Shane peers over the shoulder of the polygraph examiner working at a table to his right. The examiner whispers into Shane’s ear while pointing at his laptop screen. You see Shane say “You sure?” and the examiner nods. Shane clears his throat, then addresses the people in the room. Looks like we have our answer. And since you all have been so patient with all of this, we all have the right to know. The person who has been affecting our lives, putting the company in jeopardy, and insulting the very family name that I hold…that person is -- EPISODE SIX |