|
|
![]() Wow, over a month without a post. Miss me? Oh yeah? Well I didn’t miss you either. Fuck you, asshole. *sob* Anyway, sorry for the disappearing act but I actually have an excuse: I quit smoking. Whenever I wrote, I all but chain-smoked… so next to driving there’s no activity that was harder to get past than churning out more than a couple of paragraphs of text. It’s still going to be a struggle for awhile, but I’ve beaten it. Yes gang, I can now make the statement I never thought I’d honestly be able to make: Your Barbed One is an ex-smoker. …um… ex-TOBACCO smoker. I didn’t go crazy or anything. Either way, as my formally nicotine-stained fingers make their first real return to the keyboard for just such a purpose… let’s talk wrestling. So here we are in the aftermath of Wrestlemania; considered by many (including yours truly) to be the best of at least the last four or five years. So what is this post about? The impending Batista or Cena eras? The masterpiece that was Kurt/Shawn? Undertaker’s streak? Big Show’s train wreck? Piper and Austin hijinx? Nope… today we’re discussing a former WM main eventer. One who about 15 years ago sent audiences into a fever pitch despite saying some of the most confoundingly stupid words ever uttered by a professional wrestler… and who repeated the process within the last 48 hours or so. ![]() For those unaware (or more likely, “those who don’t give a rats ass”), The Ultimate Warrior left wrestling shortly after hastening the deaths of both the British Bulldog and WCW for a career as a right-wing nutjob. Now, if you’ve been linked to this post and are unfamiliar with me, it’s worth mentioning I’m as hippie-hating Republican as they come and wouldn’t use the term “nutjob” based only on what some whiny fag liberal students reported to their school paper. Also, if you’re unfamiliar with me please go back and read some other stuff and maybe some sticky threads in the forum before writing to point out the hypocrisy of using “fag” in this paragraph… fag. Well, on Tuesday night Warrior brought his unique blend of political insight and mental instability to the University of Connecticut, speaking before the enlightened youth and at least half of the 40 Republicans registered to vote in the state. And believe it or not, things didn't go well. From Meltzer: "Warrior lost the crowd when he said, 'Queering don't make the world work.' When an Iranian student asked him a question, Warrior said he needed to 'get a towel.' As you can imagine, this caused another outburst. Other students then told Warrior he needed to apologize for the remark. Warrior showed a video where he ripped up an Iraqi flag." Clearly these people were not wrestling fans. Perhaps if he'd been hitting Goldust and Iron Sheik over the head with chairs while saying these things the students would have been able to more fully grasp the message. Pity... Anyway, by the next morning the College Republicans were backtracking faster than a HTM/Warrior IC Title match, disavowing all statements made by Warrior including but not limited to every instance of the word "the." To the University Community: Now, I understand the event turned into a bit of a PR nightmare, but holy shit that was just about the most pussified apology I've ever seen in my life. Sure he said things he really shouldn't have but it's a college forum. This is the domain of the Ward Churchills (who I'm a fan of, by the way) of the world. Hell, I saw Abbie Hoffman and Louis Farakhan speak when I was in college. A PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER INSULTED SOMEBODY, YOU GUYS DIDN'T FIREBOMB A DORM!! How much boot-licking do you have to go through over this? Kee-rist! This is why there should never be a woman leading college Republicans. And if she's the one who introduced him that's another disturbing right-wing trend. Ladies, you need to be working to outshine the Colters and Malkins of the party... get hotter now! Needless to say, Warrior wasn't about to meekly apologize: From the Desk of Warrior As you read that, the first temptation is to think "you know, that's really a well-thought out response to a situation that certainly his client played a role in but wasn't alone when it comes time to assign blame. Warrior should be lucky to have an agent willing to lay it all out for him like that." Then you notice it wasn't written by his agent... Then you read it again... Then you remember just how crazy ape fucking bonkers the guy we're talking about really is... and wonder how in the anabolic hell you'd nearly forgotten. In fairness, when you do actually watch the video it's nowhere near as bad as it's first made out to be... although I pretty much missed the whole towelhead part, and have no idea what they mean by a response with a video of a flag being torn (Liberal media... go fig.) It's sad, because there are several times he comes so close to making a clear, honest, and irrefutable statement about the real fallacies of liberalism (seriously... mother fuck Kwaanza in its stupid ass) and every time just blows it right at the end, with some stupid tie-in or a shot at the liberals in the crowd that just kills it. It's like the mental version of being gassed... which I guess sort of explains everything. Also, as the situation starts to border on getting a wee bit rowdy some butch cop comes up and makes a comment about how she hates to be protecting him. Ahh, yes... we're the close-minded ones. When all is said and done Warrior was an idiot for saying some of the things he said in the venue he said, but a lot of it was in the spirit of the event and to hear those whiny bitches act all horrified afterwards when they were there to stir up shit is one of the fucking reasons hippies will never be taken seriously. The students were idiots for provoking him and for not once asking him to explain how the hell he did that trick where everyone could see him in the mirror except Bischoff. Hogan was scared to death over that shit yo. And the media are idiots for trying to make a story where there really wasn't one. You think this is a controversial spoken word event for a major university? Watch what happened at the Loeb Center in "Hated" some time. And the jackasses the media found to quote are the biggest idiots of all. "Waaah, a pro wrestler hewt my feewings. Just because I tried to interrupt him while he's being paid to perform he said mean things to me. Moooommmeeeee!!" Fags. Actually, the biggest idiot of all is me. I wasted an entire day following this horseshit. Jesus Christ I need a cigarette. Barbwire Mike Next post is a review of a Disney flick. Swear to Christ BONUS: There are torrents of this everywhere by now, but we're saving you the drudgery and giving you a few of the more controversial and/or humorous moments, courtesy of Lethal Wrestling EXCLUSIVELY (because I'm a smartie and figured out how to add text to the videos. That makes it legally ours now if I know my Internet law... and I most certainly don't). -Dumbass Warrior asks what is the difference between liberalism and conservativism. Girl answers EXACTLY the way conservatives explain it... he attacks her anyway. -Warrior's best line of the night. Not the one he prefaces with "this is a good line," but the slam that immediately follows. -"Object" = "big black cock" -The money shot: "Queering doesn't make the world work" (in context). UPDATE: Videos removed. Wow that eats bandwidth. If you missed out write me, I'll get you what I can. |