UFC 149 Faber vs Barao: Do people buy short guy fights?

Sup folks, we’re back and giving you the old skool WRITTEN MATERIAL, because sometimes you deserve a podcast, sometimes you dont. We got a fun card, wiith a whacky main event, so rather then bitch about the lack of star power, and the fact that we just had the biggest PPV of the year TWO WEEKS AGO, LETS GO!! I’m italics, Cruelty isnt, do I still gotta explain that folks?

UFC 149

Anton Kuivanen over Mitch Clarke – Round 3 JD
Mitch Clarke is a generic working class wrestler and not UFC quality. Anton doesn’t look to have great takedown defense, and I know he has more submissions than KOs, but I think so poorly of Mitch that I figure Anton wins via sprawl n brawl. Anton moves OK and likes to let his hands go a little bit.

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The WWE Network: Iceberg Dead Ahead Captain

Holy shit could it be even more content on the main page? Yes it seems for some reason we’ve upped our workrate around here so I figured I might as well contribute. Yes I know the Lethal women of rasslin tournament fizzled (but come on it’s women’s wrestling…so who cares anyway). But despite being burned out on wrestling in general, I had to write something because behind the scenes the WWE with Vince McMahon at the helm might be driving their ship straight into an iceberg.

What iceberg could be so big that it could sink the WWE you ask?

The WWE Network; That’s what. We haven’t heard much about the WWE Network lately and well there’s a good reason for that. The little news there is not too good.

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Create-a-Wrestler

One of my great life passions is professional wrestling. I have been lucky enough to live that passion for almost 14 years off and on and it has taken me across the country and given me the opportunity to meet and learn from some of the best workers in the business.

People often ask me how I got involved in professional wrestling. Like pretty much everything else in my life, I certainly did not take the traditional path. It started in around 1996. I was in high school and like a lot of people I had become enthralled with the WWF and the “Attitude” era of professional wrestling. I guess it really was the end of professional wrestling and the dawn of “sports entertainment” – but it was captivating programming for sure. I had always been a wrestling fan. I remember the day I stumbled upon the NWA during one of the “Clash of the Champions” broadcasts. It ended up being the legendary Flair/Sting matchup that smart marks still get erections for, so I got lucky and caught a good show.

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UFC 148: This Time JAV & Cruelty Talk In Your Earholes

The way Chael Sonnen has been cranking out sound bites, it only makes sense that we’d do this one audio style. In the link below you’ll find about an hour of MMA preview goodness, plus some of the usual nonsense banter you’ve come to know and love from us. All of this for free? Quote the Saturn “You’re welcome”

That Other Sports Show – UFC 148 Preview feat. Cruelty

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The Spiffiest SmackDown Recap on the Net

featuring guest writer: SPIFFY!

I know Disco used to do some fresh news items to open these things, but fuck that. I’m the main
event. I don’t need filler to get me over with the boys.

The show opens with a Fourth of July barbecue. Hornswaggle has some divas help him get wet. I
bet that’s the closest he ever came. Not like me. You know Lita told me my cock tasted like
Morgan’s herpes? I wonder how she knew? That skank sure got around. Teddy Long parades Eve and
her five head around in a maid outfit. Are we supposed to call French Maids ‘freedom maids’ now?
USA! USA! USA! Santino shows off his superior comedy skills by not being able to light a
barbecue. I don’t know why you guys are so hard on him. He was a real good worker in the
indies. His workrate was Benoit level! My good pal Glen Jacobs comes out and lights the
barbecue with a wave of his hand. I taught him that trick in Atlanta!

OLD SKOOL LINE BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111

8———————————————————–)~~~~

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ASK NEW JACK IX: The Triumphant Return!!!1~!

(*Looks around, wincing, sipping…then chugging a can of Busch Light. Throws it on the floor.*)

Really?

That’s all you gots to say about this.

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Behind the Scenes at WWE Creative

Don’t let the new color scheme here at Lethal Entertainment fool you. We’re more than just pretty bimbos. We used to be a wrestling website, for fuck sakes. That started back when wrestling was wrestling. When wrestling became “sports entertainment,” we made a desperate grab to shed our skin, like a slutty…uh…internet snake…or something. Just like those fagwads at Wrestling Uncensored did. It’s the circle of life, motherfuckers, deal.

On our message board, there have been rumblings that our stable of old-skewl legends are going to cough up long-awaited installments of the regular wrestling content-based comedic posts that made Lethal the last survivor of the IWC Holocaust that took lesser sites down years ago. I’m not talking about “Please listen to me Vince” state-of-the-business bitchfests, or drooling like a virgin over the fake-titted sluts whose matches we utilize as pissbreaks. I’m talking about chuckleyuck pigfuckery imbued with Lethal’s trademark disrespect for the art of professional wrestling.

While none of us can be arsed to watch this shit every week, let alone post about it, we spend every day bitching about how…shitty…this…shit is. Which means we still care.

We care a lot.

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UFC On FX UFC 147 Combo Burrito Means You Eat Well Feat. Cruelty

Sup hoes, yall enjoying LeBron’s first ring yet? We’re back, and reviewing TWO main cards, because we love you. If you want to hear us talk about these fights via podcast, check my twitter for a link to the show Saturday afternoon. If you want to figure out whos typing below, watch the fonts – I’m italics remember? Without further waiting…

UFC ON FX

Cub Swanson over Ross Pearson – Round 3 JD
Swanson likes to bang but he’s also a pretty slick grappler. His most recent loss was to an inferior opponent in Ricardo Lamas. He made a mistake that got him caught, but before that transition and sub he was looking very good. Otherwise he has been very impressive. He’s not a smart fighter and, if it wasn’t for his connection to Greg Jack, I would predict he’d indulge Pearson in a boxing match that he would lose. Instead I think MMA Yoda will tell him to take this fight to the ground where he has a clear advantage. Pearson is coming along with his groundgame but he still needs to win by landing volume. Similar to Sam Stout who we’ll see later in the card, he tends to let fighters hang around… even when he’s dominating. If he had finishing power I’d consider picking him to land on Swanson, who can get wild at times, and finish… but he doesn’t so I’m predicting a loss where he spends too much time on his back.

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UFC 146 – We’re Still Upset With Reem Out, But Anyways…. Feat. Cruelty

Sup folks, ya boys are back. Everyone loves big dudes slanging leather, so everyone should enjoy this card. As always I’m italics, Cruelty isnt, fuck big intros, LETS GO!!!

Mike Thomas Brown over Daniel Pineda – Round 1 KO

I watched a few Daniel Pineda fights and didn’t see much talent, yet somehow he has wins over some decent guys recently in the UFC. His striking defense looks weak and Mike Brown has big power. I think he’ll catch Pineda and ruin his streak.

Mike Brown over Daniel Pineda – UD
Brown still getting fights actually makes me happy, because dudes fun to watch. Pineda will attempt to get this to the mat, fail, and get beat around for 3 rounds. Can we get a Brown/Torres II already?

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UFC 145 – Jones Will Rescue Cats From Trees Before Title Defense Feat. Cruelty

Como esta putas? Ya boys are back, it must be fight night! I’m out the door to watch some fights in Hanford so I gotta hit the road. Same drill, I’m italics, Cruelty isnt,LETS GO!

Maximo Blanco over Marcus Brimage – Round 3 JD
Brimage fought on Iron Ring, but I can’t derive much from that because I don’t know if he was on T.I.’s team, Luda’s team, or Mayweather’s trainer that didn’t believe in submission holds. In the UFC he sure looked one-dimensional. Blanco isn’t a great striker but he will have a big edge and he can finish guys. Brimage will try to take this to the gound, but Blanco is a good grappler too. Blanco will batter Brimage on the feet and it’ll be close on the ground.

Edit. Note – Cruelty is the only white person on the planet who watched Iron Ring. Did you watch BET Movies after this was over? Soul Plane? Whats Love Got To Do With It? Thin Line Between Love And Hate? BAPS? I need to know.

Maximo Blanco over Marcus Brimage – TKO Rd 1
This is a badass opener. Brimage is getting a stand up fight that I’m sure he wants, only Blanco punches just as hard and has solid technique. Will Brimage try and use wrestling? It’s not a bad idea. I doubt it, he’s going to want to scrap, and pay for it.

Keith Wisniewski over Chris Clements – Round 3 JD
Wisniewski is coming off a loss but his opponent in that fight, Josh Neer, has been really solid lately. I feel like Wis upped his game recently and I see him being a UFC newcomer with no great takedown defense.

Keith Wisniewski over Chris Clements – JD
Classic striker vs. grappler match up. Clements has heavy hands but has been subbed but good grapplers and I wonder if Keith can grab a limb here. FYI from here on out I will forever refer to Keith as “The Polish Connection” because that nickname is too badass to not use. Suck on that Andrew Golata!

Mac Danzig over Efrain Escudero – Round 2 Submission (RNC)
Escudero really showed some grappling deficiencies in his last fight, and Danzig looked pretty good against Wiman. I like Danzig to doggedly pursue takedowns and eventually find a dominant position for a win.

Mac Danzig over Efrain Escudero – JD
The two biggest TUF Winners Who Ended Up Being Pretty Average facing eachother? Can we make this a Loser Leaves Town? Danzig should be able to grapplefuck Efrain for 3 rounds.

John Makdessi over Anthony Njokuani – Round 2 TKO
Both guys are coming off losses because they can’t grapple for shit, so lets have a kickboxing match and loser leaves town. Both guys will land a bit, and I like Makdessi’s power.

Anthony Njokuani over John Makdessi – JD
On paper this should be pretty good. Two good strikers, one from one of the better camps around, this has the makings for a fun throwdown. I lean Njokuani because of those great kicks he throws. He’s gonna grab two of the three rounds.

Stephen Thompson over Matt Brown – Round 3 JD
Matt Brown has managed to hang around UFC but he’s a very average fighter in all areas except basic punching power. Thompson is a pure kickboxer so this is a good step-up for him, because Brown will try to take him down… but isn’t actually too good at it. Thompson has some promise but a good wrestler would embarrass him, so we’ll give him some practice stuffing shots by a brawler. Thompson will stay FAR away from Brown and look to land when Brown moves into the edge of his range… then he’ll run away. They’re going to show Thompson’s recent highkick KO, but I hope they keep the tape rolling because I loved his celebration I wrote in my notes as a “sick flying barrel roll into a Tebow.” Headkicks for Jesus!

Stephen Thompson over Matt Brown – Rd 2 TKO
WONDERBOOYYYY WHAT IS THE SECRET OF YOUR POWWWERRRSSSS???? Thompson impressed everyone with his crazy kick KO, and I’m a bit worried that Brown could give him THE BIZNAZZ by turning this into a “chest to chest grind it out against the cage” fight. I had my “Brown keeps his job beating average guys” rant last time he fought so I wont go there again. I got faith that Wonderboy will eventually land a big kick or knee and drop Brown, then finish with punches on the ground. If Rogan’s first question is “Wont you take us far away from the mucky muck?” I will mark.

Travis Browne over Chad Griggs – Round 1 KO
Browne moves pretty well for a big guy, and Griggs doesn’t seem to have much more than sloppy wrestling. Browne trains with Phil Davis and some other good grapplers and I think he’s seen better than what Griggs has to offer. His offensive wrestling looked legit in his last fight, but he won’t need it this time. He headhunts and catches Griggs early.

Chad Griggs over Travis Browne – TKO Rd 2
Torn over this fight. Leaning Griggs because I’m not sure Browne has been in a nasty grind em out fight yet, at least I’ve yet to see it. Griggs loves to wear cats out and also has some pop in his gloves, but he shouldnt try and stand with Browne. Make it ugly, grind it out, finish with G & P later in the fight.

Miguel Torres over Michael McDonald – Round 3 JD
McDonald is like 12 years old and has nasty bacne, but he’s a pretty good striker already. Actually, Torres has terrible skin, too. This fight: brought to you by Proactiv! Both fighters have great accuracy and reach for this weightclass, so it will interesting to see these guys with those advantages minimized. I think very highly of Torres and basically pick him against anyone who isn’t an elite wrestler. Torres will bring leg kicks that help him outscore McDonald, but this will be fun as both guys will bring crazy fast-twitch action.

Michael McDonald over Miguel Torres – JD
Another tough fight to pick. I got some love for McDonald, he’s a central valley kid who made his name fighting around here, and this is by far his biggest fight. I’m going “Younger lion eats older lion” theory here. Torres has to be at the end of his career right? I love the guy but he’s really at that point where he’s almost a gatekeeper and I hate for him to have that tag. McDonald takes two of the three rounds, avoids Torres big right hand, and steals one.

John Alessio over Mark Bocek – Round 3 JD
I feel like both of these guys have been around forever because they debuted early and won enough to hang around the UFC fringe. Bocek is a slow, determined grappler who generally gets the takedown eventually. I don’t see that happening here. Alessio has good td defense and he has a MAJOR handspeed advantage. Bocek punches like he’s underwater, and Alessio has quick boxing combos.

John Alessio over Mark Bocek – JD
Alessio has put in work tho. Dude has been fighting forever. He’s faced the better competition, and although both come from great camps, I think he does enough to steal this fight. Honestly Bocek has never really impressed me. He hasnt evolved as a fighter. Bocek does the same shit he did 3 years ago, and he wasnt beating anyone great then either.

Mark Hominick over Eddie Yagin – Round 1 TKO
Striker vs striker again, and both guys coming off losses so they will be hungry. Hominick came out full of emotions and got blasted, but he’s a talented striker and he’ll bounce back with a win. Yagin has an inflated win total and he’s about to go back to the Hawaiian brawler circuit where he belongs.

Mark Hominick over Eddie Yagin – KO Rd 1
Interesting fight. Has Hominick recovered mentally over the loss of his trainer, and his quick KO loss? Are his best days behind him? Will he get gun shy? Will Yagin come out guns blazing just to test the chin? (My guess is yes) I like Eddie, he’s a nice guy, but he’s being brought in to rebuild Hominick’s confidence, and get him back into the title mix. I dont think Eddie is going to be able to capitalize. Mark sleeps him.

Brendan Schaub over Ben Rothwell – Round 2 KO
Schaub was looking pretty good against an aging legend Minotauro Nogueira before the collective prayers of the PRIDE WILL NEVER DIE crowd gave Minotauro the power to batter him senseless. Rothwell fought another Pride veteran Mark Hunt when he was also fighting illness, and Hunt + microbes beat his ass. Rothwell hasn’t done anything in years, and Schaub is slowly improving. They will see each other at the crossroads like Bone Thugz (what’s up 1990s!) and Rothwell will take the fork toward the next Bellator HW tournament.

Brendan Schaub over Ben Rothwell – TKO Rd 1
I’ve become a Schaub fan. Not just because he got tired and allowed Nog to tee the fuck off on him and give me one last awesome memory of my favorite fighter ever. Have you seen the video’s of this guy getting pranked? He’s a good sport, even when someone blends his phone, or makes him dress like a ballerina. The kid has grown on me. Rothwell hasnt done anything to impress me since coming over. I was initially excited to see what he brought, and all he brought was the fat. He’s not as fat now, so maybe he brings some fight this time? I think Schaub clips him early and finishes strong.

Rory MacDonald over Che Mills – Round 3 TKO
Mills lives up to the stereotype of Brits being bad grapplers. MacDonald is a solid all-around fighter and he’ll be able to take advantage of Che Mills’ deficiency on the ground. Rory can hang in the standup until he can get a clinch takedown and pile up damage from the top-position.

Rory MacDonald over Che Mills – JD
Man Rory has had some tough fights in the UFC already. Condit, Diaz, and Pyle already? And he’s 22? Goddamn son. Mills is the typical “UK Brawlers Gonna Brawl” that MacDonald should be able to outgrapple. Maybe Che can keep it standing and keep it interesting? I doubt it. Rory is a pretty smart kid. I smell a 3-0 sweep here.

Jon Jones over Rashad Evans – Round 3 TKO
The UFC marketing team is fantastic lately. The promotions for this fight really play up the rivalry and make it believable. These are two proud fighters who wanted to be the top dog at Jackson’s, and in the end Greg chose Jones. Rashad found good partners to train with, and he is the more mature fighter and man. Jones is still wild and arrogant, but his talent will carry him. Evans is a good athlete and slick, but his chin isn’t amazing and Jones will touch it. I don’t give Rashad an advantage in any area but he is good at managing the pace of a fight and he will survive by clinching and circling away when he gets in trouble. In the end, though, Rashad is just another name Jones will add to some dumb bragging speech that includes too many Bruce Lee quotes.

Jon Jones over Rashad Evans – JD
I’ve grown to respect the shit outta Jones sillset, but hate the kid himself. He’s just all types of cocky and cant hide it no matter how humble he tries to come across. He should just go full Maywether and go “Fuck MMA fans, U MAD BECAUSE I SMOKED ALL YOUR HEROES??” Rashad has had a rough last few months with his broad bailing, his coach bailing, can someone check and see if he had any pets bail on him? I’m hoping he turns all this into a megaball of hate/anger/I NEED TO PROVE TO THE WORLD THAT I CAN DO THIS and smokes Jones chin. But I doubt it. Jones is just a level better then EVERYONE at 205. He really is on some Prime Roy Jones Jr. shit and we all need to enjoy because we may not see it again. I’m hoping he moves to HW and we can have some competition at 205 again to be honest. Rashad will find a way to win maybe two rounds, but Jones is going to dominate and win rounds big.

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