It Came from The Box #7: Crazy Jap Horror Movies (Part 2)

The craziness continues with Part 2 of the craziness that is the Japanese and their gory and disturbing ways of entertaining themselves that will no doubt lead them straight to Hell.  Read on for two must watch flicks and one to certainly avoid, unless you enjoy movies that don’t make sense.  I’m sure you would too, just to spite me.

 

br1

 

Synopsis:  Japan is overcrowded so the government passes the “Battle Royale” law, which takes classes of children in middle school and puts them on an island to fight to the death.  Only one will live, and after three days there is no winner, they all die.  Now THAT’S a reality show!

 

Review:  Not exactly a “horror” movie, though it is disturbing, Battle Royale is most definitely a messed up movie just for the fact that you’re watching school kids around 14-16 years old thrown into something they want no part of and murdering each other for the sake of staying alive.

 

You liar!

You liar!

 

 

In the near future, Japan’s population skyrockets to the point that it can’t support everyone.  The young outnumber the old and have become unruly and undisciplined.  So the government passes a law, the “Battle Royale Act,” and now a random classroom of students will be swept away to an island to do battle til everyone is dead but one.  Because in the end, there can be only one.  Zing!

 

A film with well over thirty different characters to follow would sound like a clusterfuck, but surprisingly it doesn’t happen very often in BR.  Almost everyone is given some sort of background and reason for you to feel for them when they’re killed off in any gruesome manner because they shouldn’t be there in the first place.  These kids will fall into their old cliques but you watch as they quickly fall apart because they’re so scared of dying.

 

br3

Right in the ass!

 

I really find the Japanese have a way of making a small budget look huge and this is no exception.  Huge cast set on an island killing each other off sounds big, but you may be surprised that it cost fewer than five million to make.   The film as a gritty look to it, as it should, the acting can almost be described as “real” since some of these kids really are acting their age (the older kids acting younger really stand out though.)  It has a “reality TV” feel to it.

 

Overall:  Maybe I didn’t know exactly what I was getting into, having read mostly headlines stating how great the movie was, but it definitely threw me off.  It’s engaging yet depressing given the subject matter.  Highly recommended though.

 

Rating:  9/10

 

 

 

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Synopsis:  Some guy has the strange idea to shove anything metal in his body, like a pipe into his leg at the start of the movie.  He gets run over by a car and the driver ditches the body but becomes haunted by a metal man.

 

Review:  Following the dumping, the dead man seems to come back to life, with his body changing more and more into a metal creature.  In one of the few entertaining scenes in the movie, this guy finds his dick is now a power drill and “drills” his girlfriend to death.  Yeaaah. 

 

...gross...

...gross...

 

Shot in black and white and featuring very simple effects, I can appreciate the work that was put into it, to do something different and there are people who like it.  I realize this movie has a huge reputation and it has achieved cult status, but I thought it was a piece of shit.  If I’d seen it back in 1989 (and old enough to comprehend what I was seeing) maybe I would’ve liked it.  But not now.  I like weird, but entertaining weird.  I was just baffled by what I was watching most of the time. 

 

Overall:  Cult movies are called that for a reason, only certain people will like it.  I guess I’m part of the cult of Tetsuo. 

 

Rating:  2/10

 

 

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Synopsis:  A widowed father is urged by his son to get out there and find another woman to love.  Eventually he sends in a tape to a dating agency and finds true happiness.  Except that she’s a fucking psycho.  But aren’t all women fucking psychos?

 

Review:  Another Takashi Miike movie!  Only this one is good!  There’s a long set up where we understand where the father comes from and his son sees how depressed he is over the loss of his wife years ago.  The son urges his father on and eventually he finds a woman who has issues and eventually we learn her side of the story.  She was sexually abused as a child and only wants to be someone who will be with her and no one else.  The father has no problems with that until it’s too late and he realizes she was being very literal with the whole “loving only her” deal.

 

audition_needle

Meet the devil

 

He loves his dog, he loves his son.  And still loves his deceased wife.  When the woman finds out, she gets pissed and we’re witness to disgusting torture and even more about her past and her past relationships.  Yeeeuck!

 

I probably just ruined the movie in the last two paragraphs for those who really want to watch it, and I want you to watch it.  It can be disturbing from time to time and there’s always the bizarre shit only the Japanese can think of.  Every horror movie they make needs to have some weird looking ghost or creature and Audition runs with that new tradition. 

 

Overall:  It lulls you in with a quiet half before going fucking crazy towards the end to kick your ass!

 

Rating:  8/10

 

 

-Shaun

Won’t be long before I start doing Italian movies.  Again.

 

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3 Responses to It Came from The Box #7: Crazy Jap Horror Movies (Part 2)

  1. Judge Gonz says:

    I’d love to see an American remake of Battle Royale, but knowing the producers, they’d probably make it PG-13 so they could market the movie during football playoffs.

  2. TV Dog says:

    What he said. BR is one Jap film I’ve actually been wanting to see for a long time.

  3. Shaun says:

    New Line was in talks to get the rights a couple years ago, and there are some producers still looking at getting it made, but since the Virginia Tech shootings they’ve been treading on the subject of students killing themselves very lightly. I’d love a remake as well but I can only imagine the public backlash when it did get made. Or even announced. It might be just too big of a headache to deal with.