What’s Going On? 1000th RAW Edition

A long time ago, on an internet far, far away, wrestling used to be cool. And watching wrestling was even cooler. Writing about wrestling? EVEN COOLER STILL.

Today, fresh off of watching a complete episode of RAW for the first time in 5+ years (1000 episodes and what not), I return to the haven of the depraved know as lethalwrestling and present for the enjoyment of approximately 4-6 people this very special edition of “What’s Going On?”

Shall we?


In this picture, Vince McMahon:

A. Points to Degeneration X making their grand entrance
B. Would like this dance
C. DOES WHATEVER HE DAMN WELL WANTS TO DAMN DO HE’S VINCE MCMAHON DAMMIT

 


In this picture:

A. Degeneration X has arrived
B. RAW IS 000
C. Shawn Michaels skips to his lou

 


In this picture, X-Pac thinks to himself:

A. “I am glad to be back on tv”
B. “This is how I always dreamed it would be, Shawn”
C. “I hope there are drugs backstage”

 


A good name for this picture would be:

A. “A Tender Fan Moment”
B. “Rey Mysterio III”
C. “I shall call him Mini-Mex”

 


In this picture:
A. Money is wasted
B. Charlie Sheen is wasted
C. Our time is wasted

 


In this picture, Jerry Lawler:

A. Enjoys a refreshing beverage courtesy of corporate sponsor Sonic
B. Forgot to wear a douchey shirt with sequins and crowns on it
C. Is so going to nail that underage carhop ass

 


In this picture, Brodus Clay:

A. Is excited for his upcoming match against Jack Swagger
B. Exerts more energy than he will exert in said match
C. Bushwhacks

 


A good name for this picture would be:

A. “Foley Returns”
B. “Dude Fat”
C. “The Death Of Dignity”

 


In this picture, Slick:

A. Is proud to be a part of the 1000th Monday Night Raw celebration
B. Indicates the number of times, including tonight, that he will be on the next 1001 episodes of RAW
C. Has given up jiving, souling, and broing to dedicate his life to the Lord

 


In this picture:

A. The WWE universe celebrates the pending nuptials of AJ and Daniel Bryan
B. Some dude in a black shirt and jeans has to take a shit
C. An idiot is immortalized on tv and the internet for holding his sign upside down

 


In this picture, Vince McMahon:

A. Announces AJ and the new RAW GM
B. Gleefully steals the spotlight from Daniel Bryan
C. DAMMIT STOP QUESTIONING ME I’M VINCE MCMAHON DAMMIT

 


In this picture, Daniel Bryan is furious because:

A. He was left at the altar
B. He’s been holding off cleaning up his beard until he got the Norelco trimmer he registered for at Target
C. He specifically requested daisies for the bouquet

 


In this picture, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson:

A. Invites us to smell what he is cooking
B. Is absolutely not on steroids guys, seriously, he just has generously sized Samoan veins
C. Obligatory penis joke

 


A good name for this picture would be:

A. “Preparing For The Match”
B. “Canadian Pride”
C. “Two Former World Champions Who Were Really Never As Good As The Internet Thought They Were”

 


In this picture, Stephanie McMahon LeVasque Helmsley Game Ryzing slaps Paul Heyman because:

A. He spoke of her children though specifically instructed not to
B. It’s not a main-event angle unless a McMahon is involved
C. Because fuck ECW

 


Here comes the:

A. Pain
B. Boring
C. Horrible investment

 


In this picture, Heath Slater is smiling because:

A. This is definitely his week to win
B. He knows nobody will ever break up his band
C. Jobbing to guys in their 50’s is still better than being in TNA

 


This picture most resembles:

A. The most horrible and nonsensical stable ever assembled
B. Canterbury Tales 2012
C. The character select stage from Super Smash Brothers

 


In this picture, Diamond Dallas Page:

A. Feels the bang
B. Makes a chipmunk face
C. Still somehow manages to be the biggest clown in the ring

 


In this picture, Undertaker and Kane:

A. Overcome great adversity to win their handicap match
B. Put the “S” in “JTS”
C. 138

 


In this picture, CM Punk:

A. Prepares to finish off John Cena
B. Does the Shark Cheek Shuffle
C. Knows we’re tired because this show has been kind of boring and it’s already 11:09

 


In this picture, The Big Show:

A. Approaches the ring to interfere in the main event
B. Really, really needs to switch back to a black singlet
C. Is super-pissed that John Cena got the last ham sandwich from craft services

 


In this picture, CM Punk knocked out The Rock because:

A. He represents a threat to the WWE Championship
B. It’s really quite rude and unprofessional to enter the ring wearing blue jeans
C. He paid $38.50 for two tickets to see “Journey 2” in the theater

See you for the 2000th episode.

WGOfully yours,
Norm

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