Sup folks, we’re back and giving you the old skool WRITTEN MATERIAL, because sometimes you deserve a podcast, sometimes you dont. We got a fun card, wiith a whacky main event, so rather then bitch about the lack of star power, and the fact that we just had the biggest PPV of the year TWO WEEKS AGO, LETS GO!! I’m italics, Cruelty isnt, do I still gotta explain that folks?
Anton Kuivanen over Mitch Clarke – Round 3 JD
Mitch Clarke is a generic working class wrestler and not UFC quality. Anton doesn’t look to have great takedown defense, and I know he has more submissions than KOs, but I think so poorly of Mitch that I figure Anton wins via sprawl n brawl. Anton moves OK and likes to let his hands go a little bit.
Anton Kuivanen over Mitch Clarke – UD
Curtain jerker gets a Canadian in Canada? Of course! Both guys got more then a handful of fights, and both have majority of their wins via sub, so I’m wondering if we’re gonna see a grapplefuck from the jumpoff. Guessing so, i’ll take the kid that trains with the better team.
Antonio Carvalho over Daniel Pineda – Round 3 JD
Antonio is one of those fighters who got his start too early and we have to ignore his age and recognize that we missed his prime. He reminds me a bit of Kenny Florian: soccer guy turned kickboxer and bjj player. His kickboxing is more karate-based but let’s not quibble over details, OK? Don’t be a dick. Pineda is a pretty dynamic bjj player himself so it’d be fun to see them roll a bit, but I think Antonio will keep it standing and win on points. He’s not in his prime but he’ll still look impressive at times.
Daniel Pineda over Antonio Carvalho – UD
I thought Carvalho was eHHMESSICAN, just found out he’s Canadian. Then spent 5 minutes with my mind blown. There has to be like 12 Mexicans in Canada right? Like born in Canada? Solid fight between two vets, I like the idea of both these guys standing and banging, and I give Pineda a slight edge in this department.
Bryan Caraway over Mitch Gagnon – Round 1 Submission (Triangle)
Wow the internet fucking hates Bryan Caraway. I thought they/it were a little more split on Ronda Rousey than they seem… she can be a bit cunty at times but I found it charming. Anyway, Bryan Caraway is not as talented as his girl Meisha, but Gagnon is as 1D as it gets in modern MMA. His striking is terrible and his grappling is nothing but slow, power-based wrestling. Caraway is the better striker and has good submissions, so that gives him more ways to win.
Bryan Caraway over Mitch Gagnon – UD
Poor Bryan Caraway, he’s been SONNED by Rousey the last 6 months, who whooped on his ole lady. You know it’s bad when he tries to defend himself and people say “Yeah but she’d probably whoop your ass bro.” He’s got a solid ground game, the guy he’s fighting has a solid ground game, so we may see another grapplefuck type fight. Caraway should be the better striker, and should stay busy enough to win this fight.
Ryan Jimmo over Anthony Perosh – Round 3 JD
Normally wrestler vs wrestler ends in a kickboxing match because both guys cancel out each other’s takedowns, and eventually give up. I don’t think the’s guys are going to give up, so this fight should be a boring slowdance against the cage wall. Jimmo is a slugger and he’ll do a better job mixing in punches.
Ryan Jimmo over Anthony Perrosh – TKO Rd 2
JIMMO FINALLY IN THE UFC BABY!! Jimmo is one of these cats who does’nt put everyone to sleep, but just keeps winning. He’s got some decent wins on his resume, I think he could shake shit up. Perrosh has been floating around, 4 fights in over 3 years means you aint that active, and are either injured a ton, or just aint looking for fights. I think Jimmo busts up Perrosh enough to get a doc’s stoppage.
Roland Delorme over Francisco Rivera – Round 3 JD
This is a classic striker vs grappler, so I’m picking the grappler. Rivera is fun to watch but he doesn’t have the counter-wrestling he needs to keep this fight where he wants it. Delorme is going to take him down, pound him, and attack Cisco’s neck in a scramble as Cisco tries to get back up.
Roland Delorme over Francisco Rivera – Sub Rd 1
Shit I really wanna go Rivera here. He’s a Cali guy who i’ve seen at TFC, but Delorme is really slick on the mat, and Rivera, not so much. I think Roland catches him early.
Nick Ring over Court McGee – Round 2 Submission (RNC)
This will look like some sort of high school parking lot scrap between the sassy gay and the heavy metal guy. Well everybody knows that gay guys are in better shape, and that stereotype holds true again. Court should spend less time smoking cigs under the bleachers and more time jogging in gym class. He moves slow as shit and still gets tired. Nick Ring was a promising young fighter coming out of TUF but after a series of setbacks it’ll be interesting to see what he brings mentally. If he doesn’t have his shit together this could go to decision, but I’m going to have some faith (clearly the George Michael version, not Limp Bizkit) and pick a sub.
Court McGee over Nick Ring – TKO Rd 2
Shit, this fight is fun. Will Ring bring that lispy OOOGAAAHH to the ring? McGee is one of these guys who trains at The Pit, which I believe is making a slight comeback as far as camps go. Is Ring finally healthy, or are his knees still on some noodle strength shit? Ring may have the crisper striking, but McGee is a fucking scrapper, and I think he catches Ring later in the fight, drops him, and finishes with strikes on the mat.
Chris Clements over Matt Riddle – Round 2 TKO
This is striker vs grappler but I’m going with the striker here because I see some flaws in Riddle’s game. He has bad head movement and takes a bunch of damage, even from bad strikers. Clements is a classic Shawn Tompkins-trained fighter. He moves a lot and lands accurate punches in combinations. Unless Riddle has seen massive improvement in the area of striking defense (he’s still young but I doubt it) I think Clements picks Riddle apart between takedown attempts, and eventually Riddle will crumple.
Matt Riddle over Chris Clements – UD
Wanna lean Riddle vis sub, but I’m giving Clements enough cred to where I think he sticks around, and makes the fight interesting. Clements has pop in his gloves, so dont sleep on him. Problem with Clements is he usually wilts when he steps up in competition, so the real question is “Is Riddle a step up in comp?” I’m saying yes.
Brian Ebersole over James Head – Round 3 JD
He’s not graceful or strong… I think Brian Ebersole might be the worst athlete in the UFC. He’s one of these guys where casual fans at a sports bar will start grumbling when they see him, and not just because of his ridiculous sculptured chest hair. Roy Nelson gets a more extreme version of this but at least he’s strong. All that said, he’s a good submission grappler and his striking is much more effective than it looks like it should be. I guess we just call it “unorthodox” and move on. James Head is also a good submission specialist who had a rough debut where he panicked quickly, but settled down in his second visit to the Octagon. I expect he’ll be capable here, thus not get finished, but spend most of the fight on the defensive. Two grapplers will actually grapple, so hopefully we see some good technique across the 15 minutes.
Brian Ebersole over James Head – Sub Rd 1
Head is a bit in over his head with this fight. CCCEEEEEEE WHUT I DIDDD THEEERRRREEEE???? Seriously tho, Ebersole has 60 fights, Head 10. Damn. Head isnt the best on the mat, Ebersole is a beast there, that’s where it ends.
Cheick Kongo over Shawn Jordan – Round 1 KO
Shawn Jordan is a late replacement who is not ready to face a guy like Kongo. Because Jordan is a stocky brawler, this is the worst style matchup I can imagine for him. Kongo is long and very clean in his striking, but still has crazy power because he’s a genetic freak with a physique like a comic book character. He’s going to land on Jordan easily and it’s only a matter of time. Jordan will have to move in close, so I think a Kongo knee will be the closer. Greg Jackson is his Jordan’s trainer and should know this is an unwinnable fight for his guy, so Jordan shouldn’t have taken the fight.
Cheick KONGO over Shawn Jordan – TKO Rd 1
I still got love for KONGO! What’s in between gatekeeper and title contender? Can we name this “KONGO Status”? Jordan is a pretty solid fighter who trains with a great camp, and can shake shit up at HW. HOWEVA, he’s not going to be able to get this to the mat, and he’s going to get KONGO’d!
Hector Lombard over Tim Boetsch – Round 1 KO
This is a well-made fight because both guys are used to having a major strength advantage. Both guys have big power in their punches and excellent throws from the clinch. Lombard likes to blitz guys with punches, then guys freak out and shoot, then Lombard brings his elite-level judo into play to stop takedowns. It’s a pretty good formula Lombard has put together and he’s yet to face a striker who can handle his wild style. That won’t happen here either. Boetsch will be overwhelmed and WAY to slow to react. That should lead to a quick and violent finish.
Hector Lombard over Tim Boetsch – TKO Rd 1
About fucking time Lombard made it to the big leagues. This is the true last test for Silva right now, IMO. The dude is a beast, built like a lil Reem, and punches like a fucking mule kicks. This is a great match up for him, Boetsch is a great scrapper coming off the biggest win of his career. The thing about that win that folks dont want to talk about is how badly Okami was whooping on Tim before Tim went into beast mode and ignited Okami’s chin. Tim wont be able to stand and trade with Lombard, and once he fails to get this to the mat he’s gonna be forced to, and it aint ending well. I’m calling for a Jake Shields like jump right intoi a title fight for Lombard.
Urijah Faber over Renan Pegado – Round 5 JD
As a hardcore MMA fan I feel a bit guilty for not being more excited about this fight. It really should be a great one, but I feel let down by the Cruz injury. Renan Barao is absolutely elite and deserving of a title shot, so we can’t ask for anything more as a replacement. Faber is fun to watch and very dynamic with his striking. Pegado is the same, but I think Faber is more technical and will the advantage. On the ground it should be wild. Both guys are high volume in terms of offense and scrambling for position. I don’t quite see Pegado really controlling Faber on the ground, though, and I think Faber will outscore him on the feet and by spending more time on top. Barao is SUCH an internet darling right now, I felt like I was going out on a limb here, until I saw…
Urijah Faber over Renan Barao – UD
I’m not buying into the whole “BARAO HAS AN INSANE STREAK HES UNBEATABLE” hype. All those wins in those unknown orgs in Brazil don’t mean much of shit in the big leagues. I look at his last five fights, and of those wins the one that impresses me the most is Jorgensen. Now Jorgensen is a helluva fighter, but never won a title and had a few attempts at it. Faber has fought EVERYONE, and I dont see him losing to Barao. His mat game is better then Barao’s, and his stand up is better as well. Faber is gonna use that Alpha Male boxing/takedown mix that’ll give Barao fits, win 4 of the 5 rounds, and give Faber another 8 months to hang around and be all around chill while waiting for Cruz to heal.