Groucho Marx once said, “Behind every successful man stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife”. Well in the world of rasslin, behind every successful man stands his valet. In some cases the Valet is the one out front. Either way they usually are nice to look at and sometimes they do more then just stand there as a distraction.
I posted the 32 female wrestlers who are making up the first half of the Lethal Entertainment Women Of Rasslin tournament over here.
Many fine selections on that side of the bracket. But today we meet the other half. So sit back and enjoy because odds are I’ll be digging up some more pics for your own personal use.
So here are the 32 lovely valets of the Lethal Entertainment Women Of Rasslin Tournament.
Number 1: Miss Elizabeth
The lovely Miss Elizabeth is near and dear to many of us in our hearts. Originally she was going to be like a character off Dallas when she made her debut managing The Macho Man, but they went with her being the silent and supportive type and never looked back. We choose not to remember Miss Elizabeth towards the end of WCW when Vince Russo had her doing all that wacky bullshit in attempt for cheap ratings. She was and always will be in a class by herself.
Number 2: Christy Hemme
The highest paid woman in TNA Wrestling. Think about that for a moment. Former Diva Search winner and Playboy cover girl. She was another attempt by the WWE to make a new Trish Stratus, but it never panned out. She got fired from the WWE after Princess Stephanie thought she got too chummy with Triple H on a press tour. Became a TNA Knockout soonafter and pioneered the “Flying Firecrotch Guillotine” split leg drop from the second rope. Most of the time she missed and landed on her cooter bone. Hemme retired from wrestling due to a neck injury and is now TNA’s ring announcer for all non-main event matches.
Number 3: Stephanie McMahon
The heir to the WWE Empire and WWE Vice President of Creative and something or other. Went from being the dimwitted daughter of Vince McMahon to the sexy jezebel wife of Triple H. Most people say anything that is wrong with the WWE is usually her fault since she’s in charge of creative. She still looks great in short leather skirts and fishnets though. That’s mostly why I gave her a pass when she “bought” ECW.
Number 4: So Cal Val
So Cal Val is TNA’s ringside girl and sometime backstage interviewer. Apparently she is much more engaging in her Indy work, but I haven’t seen much of it. Her peak in TNA was when they almost made her and Jay Lethal a couple, but the angle got way too over so it got sabotaged and Jay Lethal got fucked over as usual. She is also the ring announcer for TNA Xplosion which means TNA has more redheaded announcer chicks then anyone else.
Number 5: Beulah McGillicutty
Mrs. Tommy Dreamer. Formerly the valet for Raven, she shocked the ECW World when she told Raven she was pregnant and its Tommy’s. Her career high spot was in the insane brawl against Bill Alfonso when Fonzie took a baking sheet to the face and proceeded to lose a pint of blood in the impromptu match against her. She was “retired” when she took The Dudley Death Drop. In the mid 90’s she did a Penthouse spread and video which is always fun to look at.
Number 6: Terri Runnels (Marlena)
The former Mrs. Goldust and former girlfriend of New Jack (that’s a fun visual). Got her original start as Alexandra York of The York Foundation in WCW in the early 90’s. Supposedly she was a make up artist at CNN Center in Atlanta and Dusty Rhodes found her. She came to the WWF as the “Director” of Goldust and they did some insane stuff for the mid 90’s. Later she went by her regular name and they created the “Terry Invitational Tournament” (it spells tit…he he). She was also part of the Pretty Mean Sista’s (PMS…Vince is so wacky). Most of the time she was just in a bikini showing her ample cans and ass.
Number 7: The Nitro Girls
Now I got flack for lumping them all together as a group, but outside of Spice and Fyre, from the original group can you name any of them? WCW created them in the hopes of keeping men tuned into Nitro in between matches. Whisper ended up marrying Shawn Michaels. Storm (Sharmell Sullivan) married Booker T. Tygress was a member of the Filthy Animals. Ah hell they probably all were being banged by someone in the locker room at some point.
Number 8: Traci Brooks
The “original” TNA Knockout (as if that’s some accomplishment). Former Playboy Cyber girl. She has really big cans that are usually pushed up in a very tight bra. Currently is in a feud with Karen Jarrett over something. Who the hell knows, it’s not like TNA cares. A conquest of CM Punk. Currently married to Frankie Kazarian.
Number 9: Sunny
Tammy Lynn Sytch a.k.a. Sunny is considered to be the first Diva of the WWE. Getting her start in Smokey Mountain Wrestling, Sunny came to the WWF with her Body Donna partner Skip (Chris Candido). At one point she was apparently the most downloaded woman on AOL. Back in the late 90’s on 56k modem this was a huge accomplishment. After dumping Skip, she managed a bunch of people including The Smoking Gunns, The Godwins, Faarooq Asad and his waterhead helmet, LOD 2000, and others. When she wasn’t managing they had her ring announcing, refereeing, and just being Sunny because as the theme song says “I Know You Want Me” and we did. Inducted in the WWF Hall Of Fame in 2011.
Number 10: Aksana
She loves Double Double E. Aksana (real name Živilė Raudonienė) is a Lithuanian fitness model, bodybuilder, and chick that stands around on Smackdown. Got her start in the WWE on NXT when she was paired with Goldust. She pretended to fall in love with him so she could get a green card and steal the Million Dollar Championship. Now she has Black hair and she does stuff on Smackdown. I don’t know I really don’t pay that much attention.
Number 11: Debra Marshall
PPPPPPUUUUUPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!! Former wife of Steve “Mongo” McMichael and “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. Debra was one of those valets who was the brains of the operation. Always used her ample assets to help distract an opponent in a match. But yeah…PPPPPPPUUUUUPPPPPPPIIIIIIIEEEEEESS!!!
Number 12: Ashley Massaro
Yet another Diva search winner. Ashley was an attempt to create a new Lita but it never did take on. Composed mostly of plastic parts, during certain times she appeared to be melting under the television lights. She did a Playboy spread that was probably her high point. Low point came from a Rolling Stone article that implicated her in a high priced call girl ring. She got released from the WWE and aside from more horrible tattoos she hasn’t done much of interest.
Number 13: The Head Cheerleader Francine
ECW’s resident bitch, Francine was originally the manager of The Pitbulls but she betrayed them and joined forces with Shane Douglas. She was easily one of the top heels in ECW as she could get the whole crowd to call her a whore and them chanting show your tits. Eventually turned face with Douglas and ended up with Tommy Dreamer. She eventually did show up in the new ECW after being out of wrestling for a while, but they just had her doing Bikini contests.
Number 14: Lacey
She got Jimmy Jacobs to go all Emo for her. She wrestled for ROH, SHIMMER, and other companies. I didn’t watch ROH back then so I can’t comment on her. She’s cute so I can see why Jacobs went all Emo.
Number 15: Ryan Shamrock
Brought into the WWF as the “sister” of Ken Shamrock. He was the older over protective brother trying to protect her from the evil Val Venis. It didn’t work. She didn’t last too long in the WWF. Went to WCW and managed The Stro as Symphony. Didn’t last too long there either. After several years out of wrestling, she went to Triple A in Mexico to manage X-Pac.
Number 16: Sable
Mrs. Brock Lesnar. Originally discovered by Marc Mero. Debuted in the WWF with him in 1996. Mero eventually got jealous of all the attention she got. First WWE Diva in the modern era to post for Playboy. She did three shoots (two solo, one with Torrie Wilson). Eventually married Brock Lesnar and I am not going to say anything else about her that hasn’t been all ready said. Plus Brock has a hunting show and I’ve seen what he does to gophers.
Number 17: Kimona Wannalaya
She danced atop the ECW Arena. Former valet for Raven. Allegedly Raven never tapped it. Was part of the infamous lesbian angle in ECW with Beulah and Tommy Dreamer that got ECW kicked off the MSG Network. Went to WCW as Leia Meow as the cheerleader for the reformed Varsity Squad. Then was a dominatrix for the Jung Dragons. That was about it. But hey, remember when she danced atop the ECW arena?
Number 18: Kimberly Page
The former Mrs. DDP. She founded the above-mentioned Nitro Girls. Turned heel on DDP towards the end of WCW where she sided with Uncle Eric. She had a Playboy spread with DDP that almost got them both fired from WCW because Billionaire Ted didn’t approve of such things.
Number 19: Daffney
Pro Wrestling’s Harley Quinn. Got her start in WCW as David Flair’s crazy girlfriend. The trio of Flair, Daffney, and Crowbar were actually a ratings draw so in typical WCW fashion they were broken up. She trained and became a pretty decent wrestler and has had a lot of success on the Indies. Formed a duo with MsChif in SHIMMER and other companies. Was most recently in TNA, but is currently suing them for unsafe working conditions after they had her do a dangerous fall to the floor through a barbwire board that left her with a concussion and broken arm. Also one of CM Punk’s many conquests.
Number 20: Jackie Gayda-Haas
Mrs. Charlie Haas. Former valet for him and Rico. Became a fitness model after a short run in TNA when she ended up getting pregnant. Has had three kids and is incredible shape.
Number 21: Dawn Marie
Former valet of Lance Storm and Justin Credible in the Impact Players group. Plays the dimwitted valet, but is actually rather cunning. Went to the WWE and was part of the Al Wilson angle where she married Torrie’s dad Al. In the process she had a lesbian fling with Torrie so she would not marry him, but she did anyway. Ended up killing Al on the Honeymoon. Did some wrestling in the WWE and wasn’t too bad. Ended up getting fired when she got pregnant with her first child. Since has founded an organization to donate money to wrestlers in need.
Number 22: Karen Jarrett
Former wife of Kurt Angle and current wife of El Jefe Jeff Jarrett. TNA’s resident head bitch. She gets enormous heat just by opening her mouth. Currently the head of the Knockouts division in TNA. She’s classy and they’re all a bunch of whores (her words).
Number 23: Tylene Buck (Major Gunns)
Debuted in WCW as Major Gunns as part of the Misfits In Action. Turned on them and joined Team Canada. When WCW folded she went to XPW and managed The Sandman and feuded with Lizzy Borden. After leaving wrestling she has become a porn actress with plenty of solo, lesbian, and regular videos and photo sets.
Number 24: Midajah
Big Poppa Pump’s head freak. She didn’t do much other then carry Steiner’s lead pipe and interfere in matches. But man was she hot.
Number 25: Maria Kanellis
Runner up in one of the diva searches. Played being dimwitted to a tee. Was the girlfriend of Santino Marella. Also another conquest of CM Punk. Last WWE Diva to pose for Playboy. Now does modeling and singing in addition to the usual wrestling convention stuff.
Number 26: Woman
We prefer to remember her this way. Debuted way back when she was 18 as Kevin Sullivan’s sex slave the Fallen Angel. Later went to WCW as a fan who wanted a date with Rick Steiner. Eventually turned on him and brought in the masked tag team DOOM. Became a valet for The Four Horsemen. She also went to ECW and managed The Sandman and 2 Cold Scorpio. Part of the famous Sandman is blind angle. Returned to WCW as a valet for Ric Flair once again. It’s not really important what happened after that.
Number 27: Shelley Martinez
Formerly Ariel the vampire chick in ECW and Salinas the Mexican chick in LAX in TNA. Has done a ton of nude modeling including a lot of fetish stuff. Never really given a chance by either company to shine.
Number 28: Gorgeous George
Came in as the new valet/girlfriend of The Macho Man in WCW. Was part of Team Madness with Madusa and Mona (Molly Holly). In 2000 a video hit the net of her pleasuring herself. Was a big video to try and download back then. She eventually broke up with Savage due to his controlling nature. In 2001 she married Misfit’s guitarist Doyle Wolfgang von Frankenstein.
Number 29: Stacy Keibler
Made her debut in WCW winning a contest to become a Nitro Girl. Eventually became involved in a mess of angle with David Flair where she was his girlfriend. Came over to the WWF when WCW was sold. She managed The Dudley Boys and Test. She eventually left the WWE. Did a stint on Dancing with the Stars. Currently “dating” George Clooney.
Number 30: Sherri Martel
Held the AWA and WWF Women’s World championships. Became a manager to The Macho Man after Wrestlemania 5. Eventually he became The Macho King and she was Queen Sherri. After Savage lost at Wrestlemania 7, she latched onto Ted DiBiase. She also managed Shawn Michaels after his heel turn. She went to WCW and was a valet for Ric Flair and managed Harlem Heat. She was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2006.
Number 31: Vickie Guerrero
The woman who started this debate over on the Lethal Forums to begin with. She is Eddie Guerrero’s widow and she has become easily one of the most hated women in all of wrestling. She has transformed herself from a frumpy housewife to a certified MILF.
Number 32: Rosa Mendes
Rosa Mendes (Milena Roucka) is a contestant from the 2006 Diva search. Former OVW Women’s champion. Her high point was being Zack Ryder’s girlfriend in ECW. Since then she hasn’t done shit as they just use her as filler material in diva tag matches.
And with that we have rounded out the Valets of this competition. Yes many women were left off. But in every tournament there are people who just don’t make it. Just like the Red Soxs this year.
You the reader will decide who moves on, as the First Round will be posted in the coming days.
So on that note COMMENT as you see fit.
E-mail me at PhantomLordNYC@yahoo.com