WWE Night Of Champions 2011 (Ah jeez, ANOTHER wrestling post?)

Well since the last one was somewhat of a success I figured I might as well keep the ball rolling. Yeah I know I missed the TNA No Surrender PPV, but its TNA so who gives a shit. If you actually watched the show then it was pretty much what you expected. In the next month there are going to be no less then four…yes FOUR ppv’s from the WWE and TNA combined. The WWE is starting their annual October of Hell for WWE television production, as they will have three ppv’s between now and the end of October.

First up is the Night Of Champions. I guess this was supposed to be the WWE’s Clash Of The Champions. But as we know Vince doesn’t think anything from WCW ever drew money so of course we get this cheap substitute. They started this PPV because the one in it’s place before it much like the others drew horrible buyrates (at least for the WWE’s tastes) so Vince made the decree that all PPV’s must have some sort of gimmick to them.

On paper this show doesn’t look too bad. So lets get through this shall we.

Triple H vs. CM Punk (No disqualification; if Triple H loses he resigns as COO)

This is the match that nobody wanted to see. Originally it was going to be Punk vs. Kevin Nash, but somehow between Summerslam and about two weeks ago the WWE got cold feet and scrapped the match. So now it’s Triple H vs. Punk as Punk still is trying to fight the machine and Triple H is pissed because Punk said Princess Stephanie has the balls in the family. It should be the usual good garbage spot fest the WWE is known for…just with out any blood.

The Summer Of Punk started out with so much promise and now it’s sputtering into the ground. Only question in all of this is not will there be a screw job, but who will be the one getting screwed. Vince is in panic mode right now so of course we’re going to get one. Despite being “wished well in his future endeavors”, Kevin Nash is booked to appear at the PPV. I’m guessing some sort of evil plan will be hatched between him and Johnny Ace.

Prediction: CM Punk wins a clusterfuck and Johnny Ace pulls off the coup and becomes the new C.O.O. of the WWE.

That’s my best guess and it can’t be any worse then what will probably happen. Though the WWE always will out do themselves in that regard.

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena (WWE championship)

Everyone’s favorite pseudo Mexican drug lord vs. SuperCena. Del Rio needs to shine here, but with the falling ratings and Monday Night Football getting ready to kick their ass during the fall one has to expect that Cena will win. Del Rio really needs a big win here, but I can’t see him beating Cena. But the good news is I think if he does win, he won’t be winning the title.

Prediction: Cena wins by DQ or Countout and Del Rio gets to keep the title for a couple more weeks.

Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry (World heavyweight championship)

It’s amazing how Mark Henry has become the most compelling person to watch in the WWE right now. Yes I know. Mark Fucking Henry…in 2011 no less. This is the Mark Henry that should have been around from the start. Just a big angry man tossing around smaller men like they were toys. Mark Henry has put up with a lot of shit over the last fifteen years. A lesser man would have quit (which is what the WWE wanted). But Mark Henry sucked it up and milked his contract for all it was worth and then some. All I know is Randy Orton sucks as a face so if it means Mark Henry imposing his will and squashing Randy like a bug to get rid of the blandness…then so be it.

Prediction: Mark Henry shocks the world and wins the World Heavyweight Championship. Portions of the IWC throw a hissy fit in the process because Henry doesn’t have Davey Richards workrate.

Who is Davey Richards? Some guy on a show that isn’t even on in New York, so who gives a shit.

Cody Rhodes vs. Ted DiBiase (Intercontinental championship)

For the few of you who watch Smackdown, Cody Rhodes has quietly become one of the better heels in all of wrestling. He’s not using the Chris Jericho serious monotone promo script that the WWE loves which is a huge plus. If this match were held 25 years ago it would be built around Cody not wanting his face touched so naturally Ted would smash him in the face with a cowbell and Cody would bleed a ton. This isn’t 1987 so that won’t happen. It should be a pretty damn good straightforward match nonetheless.

Prediction: Cody retains the title because it’s not like they have anything else planned. Plus Ted DiBiase is probably on his way to being future endeavored in the next few months because “creative has nothing for him”. It’s a shame because he showed so much promise, but as usual the WWE handcuffed a young talent because God forbid they try to go outside the box. Plus he never recovered from Randy Orton continually making him his bitch after Legacy broke up.

Air Boom, Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz and R-Truth (Tag team championships)

This match was thrown together last week. Miz and Truth are in the unfortunate position of being outside the upper card. When this happens the WWE throws together a tag team and they find themselves in a tag title match. Supposedly Triple H wants to rebuild the tag team division. Miz and Truth would be a great heel tag team to do it around. But it’s the WWE tag titles and considering how they are usually treated I have no faith in that happening.

Prediction: Miz/Truth probably win and have an uneventful tag team title run for a month or two so like Jericho-Big Show did.

Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix (Diva’s championship)

Ah the one match most fans of women’s rasslin are looking forward to. Beth Phoenix along with Natalya Neidhart are the Divas Of Destruction. They have vowed to destroy all the Barbie’s in the company. It’s ironic and fitting since Kelly’s real name is Barbie. I like Kelly, but it’s Beth’s time to shine once again. With any luck Beth will hold onto the title for a long enough time until Kharma comes back.

Prediction: Kelly tries real hard, but Beth still breaks her in half to win the Divas championship.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger vs. John Morrison vs. Alex Riley (U.S. championship)

This is another match that was thrown together in the last week. For some reason Teddy Long put it together on RAW even though he is the GM of Smackdown. Anyway I don’t really care who wins. I would like Jack Swagger to win but I fear Alex Reilly will. There was a point where Alex was on fire after he turned on The Miz, but now he’s the same bland generic face as everyone else not named Cena. Morrison could be a wildcard, but he still has heat on him because of Melina. She must be some piece of ass and wild in the sack for Morrison to torpedo his career. Well I can’t blame him for that.

Prediction: Umm flip a coin or something. I think Swagger will win. However it’s all about Lethal’s new favorite MILF Vickie Guerrero. That’s all we really care about in this match.

Overall it will probably be a solid enough show to watch. $44.95 is still a little too pricey for my tastes. With this being the first of three ppv’s in the next month and a half if you are going to order then choose wisely. Hell In A Cell is in two weeks and Vengeance is three weeks after that. That’s a huge cable bill to have especially in this economy. Personally I’d scrap two of them and just build everything up after Night Of Champions to The Survivor Series in November.

But alas I’m not Vince McMahon. I have logic and reason in my writing.

On that note see you at the next PPV. Also be on the look out for the Lethal Entertainment Women Of Rasslin Tournament. Wrestlers vs. Valets to determine who was the hottest of all time. It’s going to be a hell of an October on Lethal.

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About Phantom Lord

My name's Joe aka Phantom Lord. I've been with Lethal for the last fifteen years or so. Along with my old friend Dumass (Eddy Brock) we had the first podcast on this site called IWC Coast To Coast. Several years and several failed attempts later we are back to stake our claim to the over populated rasslin podcast scene. Aside from that I am a screen writing major in college, a delusional Ron Paul Republican, and generally bitter.

One Response to WWE Night Of Champions 2011 (Ah jeez, ANOTHER wrestling post?)

  1. Well… you got the Mark Henry match right at least, faggot.