I just wanted to make sure that the line breaks still work. I was never really good at the technology stuff on here. I NEED BANNERS!
I honestly don’t know where to start. I supposed a quick re-introduction is in order. My name is Spiffy Sean Styles. I am one of the pioneers of the “mark boards”, starting out waaaaaaaaaaay back in the day at Scoops Wrestling with Big Gay Al Issacs when Scoops was getting 50,000 hits a day, and Hyatte and I were setting the world on fire. Then stints at 411wrestling and The Bagpipe Report led me to Wrestling Uncensored. Eventually, I landed at Lethal, where things blew up.
I wrestled professionally for about 10 years up until semi-retirement last year. I had rotator cuff surgery a few years ago, and decided that making sure that I could golf and masturbate comfortably into my 60’s was more important than making 20 bucks to put over Doink the Clown… again. I had a decent run with the NWA back when they picked up their title from the trash can that Shane Douglas threw it in at the dawn of EC f’n W. In a search for credibility, the NWA put the belt on Dan “The Beast” Severn – one of the fathers of Ultimate Fighting and MMA, and one of the legit bad asses in the world. They were getting airtime on the WWF broadcasts, and it looked like the NWA might become a force in professional wrestling again. One thing that I quickly learned about wrestling is that while it is a business, it’s typically run by folks who couldn’t hack it as carnies and thus – didn’t really grasp how to manage the business side of it. I’ll talk more about politics in wrestling down the line – I’m sure you have a pretty good idea of how it runs. Picture the ego of Vince McMahon on a guy looking to exploit the hopes and dreams of young men in an effort to not do any “real” work, and make the payment on his double-wide. That sums up most indy wrestling promoters.
The emergence of CM Punk made me give a shit about wrestling for the first time in several years. CM and I ran in a lot of the same feds/circles a long time ago – Feds like Mega Championship Wrestling, New Era Pro Wrestling, Cleveland All-Pro Wrestling, etc. I never had the pleasure of working him, but there was a lot of great talent around that time that made it some places.
Look, I understand that wrestling has changed a lot since the “Attitude” era. I also understand that the things that I’d pop for are not anywhere close to what the typical John Cena fan would want to see. Then again, I’m not a 14 year old girl with Down Syndrome, so I’m not really a John Cena fan. I pop for things like The Miz going out on the PPV with a shredded knee and still hobbling his ass down to the ring to hit the finish of the ladder match. I get emotional when I see The Miz hobble his shredded knee down to the ring on Monday Night RAW and STILL go knowing that he’s barely able to walk. That’s a guy who bleeds the business, and I have a whole new respect for him.
I laugh at people who think there is anything “real” in wrestling anymore. Even the “worked shoot” angle like the one CM Punk ended up in is planned out more meticulously than anyone can possibly imagine. It still appeals to the smart marks because it pulls back the curtain a little bit, and smart marks can bask in the satisfaction that they know something that the rest of the “marks” don’t understand. Wrestling is largely about suspending disbelief. As such, any time that an industry built on selling a lie can present something that doesn’t seem like a lie – it’s going to appeal to people.
Of course, they immediately screwed it up on RAW the next night when they went into tourney mode, and “fired” Vince.
So what have I been up to? I love the wrestling business. The aspects of wrestling that appealed to me were more rooted in the showmanship and entertainment aspects of it. I am a solid worker, but since I refuse to chug HGH or Johnny Ace, I am never going to make it in the Fed. I did learn a lot about how to be comfortable in front of a crowd – often in spandex. I always cut great promos, and as you probably can tell I am not afraid of blatant, shameless self-promotion. The logical transition was for me to stay involved in the entertainment business, but maybe find something that didn’t require me to be in shape, in spandex, or dropped on my head.
… I found music
My band, “Walk of Shame” is now a nationally endorsed “Jager Band” which basically means they pay me to drink Jagerbombs and throw parties. If you want to check us out on the internetz:
I’m working on finishing up my PhD, but I really don’t want to write this dissertation. I live in Pittsburgh, PA by myself, and do consulting work as a profitable side business. I went from wrestling with guys like Tracy Smothers and Chris Hamrick to being on stage with guys like Dizzy Reed from Guns and Roses and Stephen Jenkins from Third Eye blind.
It’s good to be home, kids.
Life Does Not Suck,