Tommy and Gonz Review: Scott Pilgrim VS The World

Scott Pilgrim VS The World is first and foremost a story about coins and how to acquire them by punching people in the face REALLY hard. No… wait… Lemme try that again.

Scott Pilgrim VS The World is a movie about how fucking hard it is to be in love and break up and fall in love again and be broke and sleep in a bed with a gay dude and have shaggy hair and date a high school girl when you are in your 20’s and rock peoples faces off while a girl with blue hair roller blades through your dreams.

And stuff…

Before we get into the meat of this watch the international version of the Scott Pilgrim VS The World theatrical trailer. If you’ve seen the movie it’ll be a nice refresher and if you haven’t it’ll help you understand why Julia Roberts is a horse faced bitch. If you’re Gonz you should watch this because it has your favorite part of the movie in it.

For those of you following at home, Gonz is in Red and I am in not red (special appearance by blue played by Shaun).

And now, some music to get you started. Threshold by Sex Bob-omb

An Epic tale of Epicness is accurate.

I think how this goes is that we just go back and forth about the film, and then you just clean up after cut and paste, add some pictures and have our words in different colors. It shouldn’t take incredibly long.

Oh it will take a long time and one of us will end up with a flaming sword.


The other will end up a pile of coins but either way, I’m getting some nachos!

You start, honky cracker.

Wanna know a secret?
Welcome to the “League of Evil Movie Reviewers” first meeting!
Ok, so you didn’t read the books before seeing the movie right?

Yeah, I had no idea what this was about until I saw the trailers. I just knew it involved VIDEOGAMIN’ AND HIGH FIVIN’ and gay jokes. And Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s bosoms.

That is a nice target.

Those are some magnificent bosoms.

I appreciate them just as much as the broad who played Envy Adams.

I was a tiny bit disappointed in the Envy Adams stuff. She was a MUCH bigger part of the books especially at the end. She was this mythical relationship to Scott and they explored that a lot more in the books.

She needed to be slippery with jism.

Sadly, she was never slippery with jism. They are in Canada so its possible she was sticky with maple syrup.

That is a damn shame. I’m going to have to check out these books eventually. I do enjoy a good book of words.

Was the theater relatively vacant when you went to see this?  There were about 40 people in there with me.

I saw a screener the night before it opened and the theater was packed but I think that’s why nobody paid to see it. Everyone who wanted to see it got to see it for free. They started giving away free passes at Comicon and just never stopped. I know of another comic shop in town who got a bunch of free passes as well.

Packed with sweaty English frauds, I assume? Them and their beards and leather wallets.

Filled with fat people anyway. My people were well represented.

I went into it totally blind, so I wasn’t let down by any change in source material so lets get to the good stuff. What worked in the movie and what didn’t?

Not to sound like a geeky fanboy but EVERYTHING worked! Both the comedy and the homages to video games we loved as kids. I kind of geeked out at the 8 bit graphics and midi music during the Universal logo

I did enjoy the Zelda file select music in the school dream sequence. Oddly enough, that’s been my text message alert sound for about a month now. There were two middle aged people in the theater that didn’t understand why people would turn into coins after they were defeated. I didn’t have the patience to explain River City Ransom to them.

I had to explain that to my 9 year old but Logan (age 12) got it straightaway. I was quite proud

Yeah, it’s a pretty good movie to take little kids to. Lots of epileptic flashes and colors and whatnot. There should be a warning at the box office saying WARNING IF YOU SUFFER FROM SEIZURES YOU ARE BOUND BY LAW NOT TO SEE THIS FILM. And then a picture of the Surgeon General wagging his finger “no”.

And then he explodes into multicolor strobe lights to make his point

If you stick around after the credits, there’s an 8-bit version of Scott who destroys the film logo and then teleports away like Mega Man.

We stayed for that. Logan didn’t even stand up until after that. He’s well trained

I also stayed for that, but not by choice. My sneakers were stuck to the floor because Eat, Pray, Love was shown prior, and women got the floor all gunked up with pussy juice.

And not hot sexy pussy juice either.

Yeah, the gross period blood kind.

The clumpy kind that looks like ash mixed in glue

Like someone had dumped a salt bucket filled with liquid copper all over the aisles.

God damn that horse faced bitch and her estrogen bombs!

I thought Kieran Culkin did a magnificent job as Wallace Wells.

You are a mean man!

I like him, he’s been great in everything I’ve seen him in

The scene where Scott jumps out the window and then grabs his coat was well played.

Also, “Hey Scott, it’s….that one guy!” Totally deadpan.

Yeah, he was able to play “cool aloofness” really well.

The Seinfeld music out of nowhere was the best gag of the whole film. It’s like Edgar Wright said to himself “I can do Family Guy better than Seth MacFarlane can.”

I don’t know how it was with only 40 people but that bit got a huge laugh.

I’m sure everybody else was jacking each other off at the 3D showing of “Step Up” down the hall. Heaven forbid they waste their time with good movies.


One day I hope to stomp the yard. No wait… not the whole yard. Just the curb.

Chris Evans as Lucas Lee was also great; the fact that Universal had the Universal theme song play twice in the same film was unexpected.

Chris is about to get some nerd hate. He’s been in a lot of movies based on comics and dudes who are good looking and keep getting roles beloved by fat virgins eventually get internet nerd bile spewed at him.

I didn’t care for the indian fellow at all. Probably because I don’t recognize him from anything i’ve seen before.

I don’t have a clue who in Indian guy was either

(NOTE: He only has two other acting roles ever and I’ve never heard of them. IMDB)

Probably one of the 293 ancillary characters from a season of Lost or something like that.

It seemed like they brought in big names on some ex’s but didn’t care enough about the others. To be fair, Matthew Patel was the easiest to defeat in the books. Why waste talent on the jobber.

Speaking of, Brandon Routh redeemed himself in my eyes. Forget the Bryan Singer Superman abortion.

Routh had already redeemed himself on Chuck for those of us who watch good things.

TUS is threatening to dropkick my kneecaps if I don’t start watching Chuck. I’ve heard good things about it.

Just one of MANY reasons you should watch Chuck.

When he’s done dropkicking I will curbstomp your kneecaps if you don’t start watching Chuck.

I’m too busy with Community, 30 Rock, House, Human Target, Law and Order, Wrestling, Sports and going out into public to sit down and marathon 3 seasons, though.

I would say drop sports, its useless anyway.

Like the appendix of television, eh?

Its like a guy taking Home Ec. when he’s already getting laid by his hot girlfriend. Its just not necessary.

Home Economics is for gay jews and communists. Always has been.

And dudes who can’t get laid.

No, I don’t want to learn how to pleat dress pants. Of course, those were the days when women made sandwiches in kitchens and wore skirts and looked like Donna fucking Reed.

You know Donna Reed was a sadist who tied her costars to dining room chairs and forced them to eat casserole out of her anus right?

As if casserole was to be served anywhere else? The anus is nature’s Pyrex pan.

But enough about anus casserole, what was in the comic books that was left out of this movie for time restraint purposes and/or creative differences?

Not as much as I anticipated. There is about a year between Ramona leaving Scott and coming back. In fact, there is a whole book with no Ramona in it (in Volume 5).

What does he do in the meantime? (Learn the bass line to Final Fantasy 2, I assume)

Scott grows a beard and gets angsty and is even more of a loser than before.

He can never be as cool as Comeau. That guy knows everybody.

That is very true. They left in a bunch of ancillary characters like Comeau that I thought they would cut out for time purposes. But what takes ten pages in a book happens in about ten seconds on screen.

While I enjoyed this movie as a whole, a lot of tiny things dealing with Canadian humor were lost on me. Since Canadian humor is basically an oxymoron. Jim Carrey did almost marry Jenny McCarty and adopt her retarded kid though, so that was kinda funny of him.

A search for "Canada moose knuckle" found this.

[Shaun bursts in]
You shut yer fuckin mouth eh!? I’ll be forced to slap you in the face with some moose knuckles eh!?
[Shaun leaves]

Apparently indy rock bands are huge in Toronto. Go figure. Poor “Crash and the Boys” getting exploded.

Was Scott’s haircut a running gag in the book or was that something the producers and writers came up with?

it was a running gag. They took a lot of the little things in the book that I honestly didn’t pay a lot of attention to and slid it into the movie seamlessly making me appreciate the books even more.

Knives kinda gets fucked over big time in the film, yet I’ve heard they filmed multiple endings.

The movie ends pretty much like the books and while yes, Knives gets fucked over they all grow from it.


And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from television, it’s that knowing is half the battle.

The other half is pulling out.




Wheaton deserved a role in this. It’s his perfect film.

I agree, he should have been one of the ex’s.

Alternate casting choices also include: Frank Vincent, James Earl Jones, Ted Danson, Gabe Kaplan and Christian Slater. Constantly punching women in the face.

I think Vinnie Jones should have been Ramona Flowers.


“You use language like that again son, you’ll wish you hadn’t.”

In other news, Aubrey Plaza (the girl who plays the barista at the coffee shop) apparently dated Michael Cera. Whorin’ it up on the casting couch, it seems. She also dated Seth Rogen and got a part in “Funny People”.

Speaking of Michael Cera who knew that kid could act?

Yeah, his last two movies have caused me to hate him less and less. Being constantly typecast as “awkward teenager” wasn’t a good career choice.

He plays naieve bravado with awkward better than expected

He showed balls in this movie, however. The first time ever. The ending wasn’t some weird cutscene or TO BE CONTINUED… Though it should’ve been. Cera explaining to Riker that resistance is futile.

It’s just a shame that this movie isn’t going to make hardly any of it’s budget back. It got buried underneath The Expendables, Eat, Pray, Love…, The Other Guys and Inception.

Yeah, it got buried in horse faced lumpy ashen vagina flood.

I would appreciate nothing more than for Julia Roberts to visit Pakistan or Afghanistan on some sort of charity mission, and watch her get kidnapped by Al Qaeda. Then forced to watch Erin Brockavich with toothpicks holding her eyelids open, ala the Ludovico Technique. Then they behead her and fashion her skull into a decorative fruit bowl. Then the Academy forgets to mention her during the “In Memorium” part of the Oscars.

That said, I enjoyed the hell out of this movie, and it’s still gonna be at the theaters for another couple weeks before it hits the dollar theater circuit. I would suggest it to anybody who is a mark for 80’s NES game references and comic book style fighting. it’s not for everybody, though. If you are married or have a girlfriend, or perhaps have a sister, there’s a good chance they won’t enjoy this, even though it’s technically a love story.

But if you were born between the years of 1970 and 1980, and you are a man, you will appreciate this far beyond any other focus group.

Thanks for reading, folks. Here is Black Sheep by Metric as it appeared in the movie performed by Envy Adams and her band The Clash at Demonhead. There is a short commercial but the video is pretty cool.

This has been a Tommy ‘N Gonz Motion Picture Review. Expect more in the future.

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