Reefer Badness #6: Mortal Kombat Annihilation

Feeling we’re getting into a rut with all these movies based on videogames, I proposed we give it a break and do something classy like Howard’s End or a Midsummer Night’s Dream.  A hearty laugh (and punch to the face) later, Dr. H asked if I had Mortal Kombat 2.  I shuddered in fear knowing that I indeed own it, but dare I break it out of its case?  Dare we attempt to make sense of it?  Did we go insane?

I dunno, words fail me at this point.  I just can’t go on, I’ll let the good doctor do the write-up, officially now known as the “pre-blurb.” because it’s funny and that’s what it is.  At least he hasn’t lost his mind just yet.

Howdy Folks,

Venom here (AKA Dr. Huutrz). Today I have the distinct pleasure of writing you the pre-blurb about arguably the worst movie we’ve reviewed thus far, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. The day we sat down to review this will forever go down in history as just two more hours out of our lives that we’ll never get back. Also, this marks the first entry of Reefer Badness where we’ve finally got all the bugs worked out and at last we have gotten the audio and video quality on our sides.

Of course, I was about 13 years old when the first movie came out. I went to the theaters and my underage friend wasn’t allowed to go in- but fuck him, I watched it by myself while he waited outside for his Mom to pick him up. I loved the movie, it was everything I could hope and dream about. Naturally, when I heard they were making a sequel, I couldn’t wait to see it. Being a huge MK fanboy, I felt the sky was the limit and the next film would be even better than the first.

And so, that fateful day finally came. To this day, I still remember it because it may be the actual day I became a man, for on this day I realized that just because a movie had a cool property or name attached, it could truly suck. Yes friends, I sat in sadness and awe as one of the worst sequels (and worst overall movies) I have ever seen flickered in front of my eyes and my once boundless enthusiasm began to trickle away from the opening credits.

Even after the first five minutes, I knew I was sunk. Characters were dying left and right, effects were terrible, Kahn was a goof and only Liu Kang got suckered into returning for this piece of cinematic history.

And now, you can bare witness to the true horror that is MK: Annihilation. Witness the endless purple filters over the sky, filled with lightning. Witness the transformation of Rayden into a Power Ranger. Witness the endless parade of one-off character appearances that lead to nothing. If I keep going on about what you could witness, it’ll take up four more pages and you’ll have nothing to laugh about. The truth is that this movie is actually way worse than even I remembered, making it a perfect candidate for Reefer Badness.

You know, the tagline is true: after this, nothing will ever be the same.

Mortal Kombat 2 Part 1

http://www.break.com/usercontent/2009/7/mk2001-827159.html

Mortal Kombat 2 Part 2

http://www.break.com/usercontent/2009/7/mk2002-827180.html

Mortal Kombat 2 Part 3

http://www.break.com/usercontent/2009/7/mk2003-827222.html

Mortal Kombat 2 Part 4

http://www.break.com/usercontent/2009/7/mk2004-827262.html

Mortal Kombat 2 Part 5

http://www.break.com/usercontent/2009/7/mk2005-827525.html

Mortal Kombat 2 Part 6

http://www.break.com/usercontent/2009/7/mk2006-827551.html

Mortal Kombat 2 Part 7

http://www.break.com/usercontent/2009/7/mk2007-827576.html

Mortal Kombat 2 Part 8

http://www.break.com/usercontent/2009/7/mk2008-827665.html

-“Lethal” Shaun and Dr. Huutrz

Annihilated.

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