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Sun Tzu and Musashi's Advice for the Modern World #3 Posted by Inside Clyde on February 13th 2007  About the men behind the advice: Miyamoto Musashi: My name is Miyamoto Musashi. I have killed over sixty men in fights and duels. When I was sixty years of age I looked back upon my life and in a flash of wisdom, realized that all my victories were based on either great luck, an innate ability, or perhaps because I am a muthafuckin’ P.I.M.P. Sun Tzu: I realized that war is a matter of vital importance to the State. It demands study and analysis; mine was the first known attempt to formulate a rational basis for the planning and conduct of military operations. But I got mine in my spare time, if you know what I mean. Inside Clyde: It’s an honor to be able to translate and interpret the advice of two such notable men. These are real questions fielded from real people. If you have any questions for the unequaled masters of battle, love and lust, drop me a line here. All questions will be printed just at they are received. Make sure you put “Question for Tzu and Musashi” in the subject line of your e-mail. Dear Sun Tzu and Miyamoto Musashi – Why is it that people sometimes fantasize about things that they would never enjoy in real life – things that might in reality actually disgust and/or terrify them? Ex: Rape, 3-somes, sex with a co-worker or boss, sex with persons to whom they are not attracted, etc? -- Curious Musashi: Who is it that controls the battle? Is it you or is it the enemy? That the commander must know the enemy troops is a vital aspect of my strategy. Whether in one-man battles or large-group battles, you must understand the enemy. If the commander knows the spirit of the enemy, he can easily control them and quickly beat them. To win with ease, you must maintain control over the enemy’s actions. Not doing so permits the enemy to control you. If neither of you has an understanding of the Way, the fight is meaningless and the outcome will be governed by luck, the winner also being the loser, regardless of the physical outcome because of the cost of battle. You must control the fight by possessing a greater spirit than that of your enemy. Understand this strategy and master it. Inside Clyde: That’s why Musashi is the master of the sword. We feel vulnerable when we are naked or in the midst of a sexual act, so it is only natural that in our sexual fantasy lives we would want to control the things that “disgust and/or terrify” us. You listed “3-somes” as something that would disgust or terrify, so you are probably a chick. By fantasizing about these things, you are able to control them. It’s like (I’ve heard, cough cough) going to a dominatrix. You have a safe word. Only in the case of your own fantasy, your safe word is more like a phrase. That phrase is, “if it’s weirding you out, quit diddling yourself.” By the way, another way of conquering and controlling fears is to act upon them. If 3-somes really scare you, and you are indeed a woman, kindly send your picture to splatinum@gmail.com, preferably in a state of undress, and we’ll break our rule of “no contact with the questioners” to assist you. Because I care. Let’s see how Mr. Tzu answers your question of why people fantasize about stuff that scares or repulses them. Sun Tzu: Toward the end of the Later Han, after Ts’ao Ts’ao had defeated Liu Pei, Pei fled to Yuan Shao, who then led out his troops intending to engage Ts’ao Ts’ao. T’ien Fang, one of Yuan Shao’s staff officers said: “Ts’ao Ts’ao is expert at employing troops; one cannot go against him heedlessly. Nothing is better than to protract things and keep him at a distance. You, General, should fortify along the mountains and rivers and hold the four prefectures. Externally, make alliances with powerful leaders; internally, pursue an agro-military policy. Later, select crack troops and form them into extraordinary units. Taking advantage of spots where he is unprepared, make repeated sories and disturb the country south of the river. When he comes to aid the right, attack his left; when he goes to succor the left, attack the right; exhaust him by causing him continually to run about…Now if you reject this victorious strategy and decide to risk all on one battle, it will be too late for regrets.” Yuan Shao did not follow this advice and therefore was defeated. Inside Clyde: People are freaks. Pro wrestling training in the ATL |
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