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Back in July/August, you might remember Kev and myself wrote a NFL preview... took 2 posts to finish it. Ringing a bell? Hope so, anyway, this is supposed to segue into fantasy football. Right now, I'm in 4 leagues, three of which involve various people in this site and the forums. I've been doing F.F. actively for two years, but it wasn't until this year when I finally figured out how to do this fucking thing. Now, I'd like to bestow my knowledge of this to you so next season, we can all have fun and enjoy the mud-slinging that goes along with it.

Believe it or not, your draft pick come draft day is really, REALLY irrelevent. The guy with the last pick has just a good a shot of winning the damn thing as the guy with the first pick. It's all a matter of using what's inside your head to make everything work. Yes, there will always be the 4 or 5 guys that YOU MUST HAVE OMG, but you can do just as well without any of them.

-DRAFT DAY-

There really are 3 positions to worry about for your first 4 or 5 picks. Those are RB, QB and WR. And WR you shouldn't worry about til late round 2 or later. So this leaves your first two big spots to fill as RB and QB. And with good reason, they get you the big points. Wait, wait... let's take a step back. Let me explain the rules of Fantasy Football to those unfamilliar with the concept. Essentially, you and your friend's/coworkers/random guys are GM's and you get to DRAFT YOUR OWN FOOTBALL TEAM. The very basic set up is QB, RB, 2 WR's, TE and a swing RB/WR/TE that you can make whatever. You also can pick a defense TEAM and a kicker. You then can have 4 or 5 bench spots that you can fill with whatever. Again, this is most basic, some people have two starting 2 QB's, 3 starting WR's etc... Points are given based on player stats per week. For example, for every 50 yards a QB throws, you get a point. For every 20 yards a RB rushes or a WR receives, you get a point. Your defense gets an INT, you get a few points, etc... Obviously, you want to have more points then your oppenent for the week.

Now that we have the basics, we can discuss strategy. Like I said earlier, the positions you want to fill early are QB and RB because they WILL get you the most points. I don't want to name players at this point because someone who picks up on this in 2 or 3 years, those players may not be as good... or still playing. There will always be 2 or 3 players that will ALWAYS go in the top three. For example, this year, the top 4 or 5 picks were ALL running-backs. For the first 2 rounds... 3 if you want to stretch it, PICK THE BEST PLAYER AVAILABLE. How do you determine that? Go with their last year stats with the point system in the league your in. Meaning, although a RB's numbers are more impressive, the scoring system would suggest a QB would get more points and so on. For all positions, you want to get a guy who gets the yards AND the TD's. For example, last year, Deuce McAllister had a DYNAMITE year in yards, coming in second in the NFC. Unfortunatly, he had like 10 TD's which is pretty poor for a quality RB. To sum it up... GET A QB AND A RB THAT WILL SCORE TOUCHDOWNS AND GET HIGH YARDAGE. ALWAYS.

DO'S FOR THE FIRST TWO ROUNDS-
-Pick BPA (Best player Available) in terms of last years stats and how it influences the point system your in.
-Determine BPA by YARDS and TOUCHDOWNS
-QB's and RB's only

DON'TS FOR THE FIRST TWO ROUNDS
-Worry about your spot in the draft
-Pick a Defense, Kicker, TE or WR
-PICK A GUY YOU MAY THINK BE AN UPRISER THIS SEASON. STICK TO FACTS. HEARING STEVE YOUNG SAY, "PLAYER X HAS THE UPRISING TO BE THE BEST QB THIS SEASON!" DOES NOT MAKE IT SO! THERE IS NO PROOF OF IT!

4th through 6th round

Well, these rounds are going to be a lot tougher. There are much more variables one can look at when making these picks. Well, the 4th round, you should have your second tier RB or QB and WR selected. Your 5th and 6th picks are going to be tough because 2 new positions can be added to the equation. Tight Ends and Defenses. Now, depending on how well you listened to me before you should have 1 or 2 QBs, 2 or 1 RBs and 1 WR. With a Tight end, there's a HUGE drop-off on them, if you don't have one of the top 5 or 6, you might as well draft Barbwire Mike. Ditto with Defense. With defense though, any team can do very well on any night... but if you CAN get a good one around the 6th round, go for it. Also, this would be a good time to pick one of those star-to-be players you'll hear on the pre-game shows or anything like that. As a back up of sorts.

Drafting a kicker

Your kicker will probably get you the least amount of points on your team, but obviously some are better then others. Points for these guys is usually 1 point for every extra point kicked or certain point values for field goals based on distance. Your best bet is to pick a kicker for a high power offensive powerhouse. Like tight-ends and Defensives... the drop off between kickers are huge. Also, like defense, a bad kicker could have a great game and vice versa. You kinda need a kicker, so these guys are probably best used towards the end.

Further tips

-Remember every team has a day off and pick and plan wisely. What you DON'T want is to have your starting QB, RB, and TE to have the same week off and you don't have a back up for one of them. Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT pick a lot of players from the same team. You'll fuck yourself in the end.
-Star players WILL get hurt during the season, no one can be sure when or for how long, BUT KEEP TRACK OF EVERYTHING. The last thing you want is your star QB injured and you not knowing about it until AFTER his replacement is picked off by someone else.
-The waiver wire sucks. Don't have any action against it, it just sucks.
-If someone offers you a trade, your biggest concern is that the point values are equal. For example, your offered a trade. 3 of your people for 2 of the other guy. Sounds unfair, but if during the season, the total of all points is the same, it'll work out for all parties. The question would if it works all the way through.
-DON'T BE A FUCKING DOUCHE AND DUMP ALL YOUR FUCKING PLAYERS IF YOU ARE NOT DOING WELL.
-to go with above... DON'T FUCKING PICK UP POTENTIALLY IMPORTANT PLAYERS IF YOU'RE NOT MAKING THE PLAYOFFS. TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE FUCKING ETIQUETTE!!!!
-If you're not going to be able to attend the draft... PRE-SELECT YOUR TEAM! With yahoo, the pre-ranking sucks, do it yourself.

So how did I fare? Out of the 4 leagues Im in... I made the playoffs in two, finished 11-2 in one and am in the finals in both of them as well. The two I didn't make? They're actually the two Lethal leagues... so I guess you could second guess everything I just said. *shurg* I just wanted something to write about.

TUS

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