It seems like every once in a while wrestling gets stale. The storylines just aren’t inspired anymore and everyone involved, from Vince Mcmahon all the way down to George the peanut vendor knows it. Each time one of these lulls happens the people in charge of the industry look to an outside influence to make wrestling big business again. In the 1980’s we got Rock ‘N Wrestling featuring some of the crappiest music of the decade. In the 90’s Vince went to his son who was in the prime of his teens… ok, maybe his 20’s, and got a new attitude, one filled with blood and boobs. Now Vince and company are looking again for the next big thing and they seem to have found it in Brock Lesner, the brand new WWE undisputed champion. The problem here is that Vince found inspiration in an unlikely place and because he didn’t give the proper credit, and while normally we’d all be forced to wait as corporate lawyers duke it out in the courtroom, here at Lethal Wrestling we tend to take matters in our own hands and sanction some of the nastiest battles ever to get these things under control.

Ok, so that’s quite possibly the lamest reason ever given for a superfight but it’s slightly better than Brock sounds like the name of a candy company and Mandy Moore’s first big hit was called Candy. Actually, come to think of it, that might have been better after all. Fuck it, let’s rumble.
 

BROCK LESNER	VS		MANDY MOORE

 Fighting Ability____________________________________
Ok, so this ones pretty much a giveaway to Brock since he's a big giant wrestler while Mandy is a little girl who sings real purty. The only fight we've ever seen Mandy in is with cancer and she lost that one pretty badly although we did learn that sometimes the bad boy is really a good Christian underneath and when someone makes you a giant telescope it's to look at the stars and not to stare into your bedroom while you get undressed like that kid from Smallville. What a fucking perv that kid is.But then again, if I lived across a field from a hottie like that who liked to air dry after showers I'd most likely build a telescope. Or buy a video camera with a high quality zoom. Either or. Damn I need some x-ray vision.

Advantage: Clark... err.... Brock

Back Up__________________________________________
While Brock has it all over Mandy one on one, it looks like Miss Moore has a whole hell of a lot more back up than Mr Lesner. Brock has one fat, middle aged bald guy who gets really red in the face and out of breath just by eating let alone fighting. Mandy on the other hand has the masses of TRL at her disposal, not to mention the general male population. If all else fails Mandy can recruit the 14 year old girl population to come into the arena and squeal like 14 year old girls are apt to do. If that's not enough to make Brock submit then he's just not freakin human. There's no sound more unnerving than a gaggle of teenage girls giggling and squealing while your pants are down around your knees and the whole football team is there with a parking cone shoving it farther and farther up your .... what? Uhh.. nevermind

Advantage: Mandy

Who Would Look Better Winning______________________
Oh thank God, in the last fight there were two guys and this category made absolutely no sense but this week, oh this week the choice is extremely clear. I guess it would be kind of a moot point to go over all the ways that Mandy Moore is hotter than Brock Lesner. I suppose some women may disagree with us but come on, one of these people doesn't even have a neck! How could anyone find a neckless person attractive. Of course, that doesn't really apply is their entire head is missing, then it's ok to find them attractive and take them out on dates and slip them roofies and have a great time for four straight days and then put them back in the freezer where you got them. What? You don't have to slip them roofies?

Advantage: Mandy

Jager Tolerance____________________________________
I know what you're thinking, that big Brock guy would drink that little girl under the table. Ah, that would be true but today we've replaced the Mandy you've been ogling with new Mandy crystals, Let's see if you can tell the difference. You can? Well fuck off! I'm writing this crap! I say there's a run in by a red headed redneck with a high tolerance for Barbwire Mike's brand of liquor so there's a run in. Got it?

Advantage: Mandy

You Best Accessorize________________________________
While Mandy does have a knack for finding the right purse for her shoes, Brock has the ultimate accessory, the WWE world championship belt. A title worn by a multitude of talent including Hulk Hogan, Bret Hart and Andre the Giant. Wait, it's a different belt now? What happened to history? To tradition? Oh, it went away when the buyrates slacked off. Well that just goes to show that not only can Brock work his outfit but that the WWE makes sure their champ is stylish as well.

Advantage: Brock Mandy with candy!

WINNER
4-1
MANDY MOORE