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 Where have all the great tag teams gone? Perhaps a better question to that is, name one good tag team today? I’m waiting … You can’t name a great tag team today because there isn’t one. We used to get such treats as the Dudleys, Hardyz, and Edge and Christian (still the best tag team – EVER!). Now we get such pairings as Faarooq and D-Von, which is the equivalent of putting Billy Gunn and the Road Dogg together so many years ago in a desperate hope they can get each other over. While it worked for the New Age Outlaws, let’s think about a few teams that not only failed based on the same logic, but failed miserably. Lo Down – So D’Lo, one of my personal faves, and Chaz, who was good back in his Headbangers days, were good friends looking for opportunity. But a lack of cohesiveness and storyline led them to the ill-fated pairing with Tiger Ali Singh, and soon enough Lo Down failed to even find themselves on Jacked. It’s sad when you’re so bad you can’t even get on a show that has featured such high-profile wrestlers as Key (remember his pairing with Albert and Droz?), Scorpio and, my personal favorite, the Inferno Kid. Billy Gunn and Big Show – These two hooked up for the same reasons as Lo Down, but with even worse results. I think this partnership lasted, what, two matches? Talk about a bad idea. Spike Dudley and Tazz – Back in ECW, this could have been a great team. But by the time their tag title came about, Spike and Tazz should have been calling themselves the J.O.B. squad. Tazz rarely won a singles match after coming back from injury, but he was supposed to be believable as the hot-tag guy of this modern day Cactus Jack-Mikey Whipwreck team? I don’t fucking think so. Maybe if Tazz was just coming off an IC title reign, or had at least picked up a couple of wins somewhere on either Raw or Smackdown, this could have been a believable team. As it was, they got a great push against the Dudleys, then went right back to jobberville by laying down for Billy and Chuck. Tazz and Raven – What about Raven? It was a smart debut for Raven to paired with Tazz, but the two former ECW bad asses were soon reduced to shit. And, really, so was the legacy of ECW, at least to the casual fan. Unfortunately, there’s not much to sing about in the current tag team picture. A look at the pretenders: Rosie and Jamal – Big moves, no stamina. Some friends who saw one of the recent house shows in Wyoming said the two big men couldn’t handle the high altitude. From the looks of their short spots, I don’t think they can handle the low altitudes either. These guys have some promise, and having Rico in their corner is not a bad thing (he’s just so festive! And stylish), but I don’t see these pulling off a TLC match anytime in the near future. Unless TLC is changed to Turkey Leg Consumption, then they might be the champs for life. Booker and Goldust – I’m sorry, I don’t consider these guys a tag team. Booker is a singles wrestler with a sidekick. Until they’re given a serious push as a tag team (read: no singles matches for either), I refuse to acknowledge they could ever wear tag team gold for any reason other than a shitty attempt at grabbing ratings. Lance and Christian – This seems to be over anyway, so fuck ‘em. They did decently as Un-Americans, but they would have been better in a comedy-and-straight-man role. Hurri-Kanes – The stereo chokeslams in their tag title win was cool. Their promo together this week was good. Too bad Kane’s currently on the uber-push that will derail this team. Instead of further developing the great chemistry in place here, Kane will get pushed to face Triple H as No Mercy, then he’ll lose in some kind of screw job. Meanwhile, Flair and Trips will likely screw the Hurri-Kanes out of the tag titles. Too bad, because this is a team that could actually have some promise. Billy and Chuck – This was the New Age Outlaw theory at work again, and it has worked, although it seems this team has run its course. Neither is necessarily a bad worker – they just don’t seem to have “it.” A storyline will only take you so far. They reached the end of their storyline a while back. Sure, the wedding was a nice swerve, but it officially dried the well for these guys. Time to rethink what these guys do or else break them up. And tell Billy to stop doing the fucking crotch chop. DX is gone – let it go, Billy. Let it go. Chavo and Eddie – I get it: They’re related, so they should tag. Ya, tell that to Rock and Rikishi. Eddie is too good a singles wrestler to ever be a tag teamer again. And Chavo should be doing the crazy shit he can do with the other cruisers. Jamie and Tajiri – Talk about two guys spinning their wheels. Let Tajiri get caught finger-fucking Nidia or something. Start a feud. Let these guys shine against each other. That would not only be good for both, but for the cruiser division as a whole. Yep, pickins are slim since the brand extension, when the best tag teams around – APA, Dudleys, Hardyz, et al – were broken up. Of course, those teams were getting stale, but stale would be better than the shit we’ve got now. The WWE needs to get some good, solid teams developed and quick. There’s some potential, now it’s time to let it shine. Sherlock See? I really can contribute around here when my job gives me some actual time off 
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