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 At the conclusion of Survivor Series, my pal Drew turns to me and asked – nay, demanded – that I go home and post about what a great pay-per-view the Series was. Obviously I didn’t get it done. After all, “The Sopranos” was on. Seriously, though, I was far too shocked to see Shawn Michaels walk out with the World Heavyweight Title to clearly think of a good post. When the Showstopper hung up his tights – seemingly for good, but as Jim Ross is so fond of saying, and rightly so, never say never in the world of professional wrestling – I could have never fathomed he would make such a great comeback, much less capture the World title. I guess I should be used to all the crazy changes the WWE has given us since buying out World Championship Wrestling some 18 months ago. Guys I never thought I’d see on Raw again – Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash, Eric Bischoff, Scott Hall, et al – have all made some kind of impact on the WWE. Now it seems it’s only a matter of time before guys like Stone Cold or Mick Foley find their way back to the ring. Still, to see Shawn Michaels take some good bumps and survive the Elimination Chamber far exceeds the shock value of any of the above-mentioned guys worming their way back onto Vince’s payroll for one last run. To see a guy who with one bad bump could find himself paralyzed for life give a solid performance in a gimmick match nobody had ever seen before – well, it took me a few days to think about it. If you haven’t already figured it out, I’m a huge fan of Shawn Michaels. I loved him as part of the Rockers. I loved him when he feuded with Hall over the Intercontinental Title. I loved him when he formed DX. I loved him as commissioner. And yes, I even loved him as part of the WWE’s version of the New World Order. And now the Heartbreak Kid is a four-time World Champ. He’s back to wrestling the closest thing to a full-time schedule he can handle (which is still more than Rocky is doing right now). I can’t help but fear he will land wrong somehow and fuck up his back – not to mention his life – for all eternity. But if he’s willing to take the risk, then by god I’m willing to go along for the ride and enjoy every second of it. And now, on to other thoughts… For all of you who bash Triple H on a routine basis, my retort to you is this: Shut the fuck up with the bullshit. Is Triple H in the same league as a Stone Cold or a Rock in his ability to carry the company? No. Was the necrophilia angle one of the worst things thought up by WWE? It certainly ranks up there with Austin’s kidnapping of Vince (which led to Vince wetting himself, a night so painful I almost turned to Nitro) or Mae Young giving birth to a hand. Still, Triple H is the best bad guy in the business. The Rock wouldn’t be making movies today if it weren’t for sharp writing and a good chemistry between the two through numerous feuds. Stone Cold’s star likely would have faded long before it did had Triple H not emerged as a worthy adversary (because let’s face it, they milked the Vince-Stone Cold war for as much as they could and more). The problems with Raw have nothing to do with Triple H – they have to do with the fact nobody has stepped into that Austin or Rocky super-face role that gets us all reaching for a box of Kleenex. If Stone Cold were to show up Monday night only to get blindsided by the game, we’d all be counting the minutes to another epic showdown at Armageddon. That new chemistry still needs to be found. While I love Rob Van Dam, he and Triple H don’t have the chemistry. Neither would he and Booker T. But Chris Jericho would. So would Kurt Angle. Or Chris Benoit. At some point, the WWE writers will strike gold. They will find that perfect chemistry for Triple H. And when it does, all the talk about how he is to the WWE what Nash was to WCW will be buried. Because the good times will be back, and our biggest gripes will be that we have to look at Albert’s hairy back on Velocity. And if that’s the most we have to complain about, then things are good. More random thoughts… Can’t say I’m really impressed with Scott Steiner yet. Granted, I never saw him in WCW, but so far he seems like a one-trick pony on the mic. Impressive strength, yes. But he has all the charisma of an Earl Hebner. All Matt Hardy Version 1.0 is missing is a better entrance song. What’s up with giving him the song that was originally intended for Ric Flair? I’m glad the Dudleys are back together, and I’m glad D-Von has added so much to his arsenal. Now, instead of punch, punch, clothesline, kick, it’s punch, punch, punch, clothesline, kick. I’m beginning to understand why he’s on the easy side of the 3-D. Brock hitting Show with the F5 was fucking awesome. ‘Nuff said. How does a guy like Test get so lucky? He gets to hump Stacy Kiebler, he gets a big push because of Stacy Kiebler, and he’s entering a feud with the master of comedy, Stevie Richards. On top of that, I think he officially has more finishers than anybody else on the current roster – Big Boot, pump-handle slam and whatever the fuck you call that new twisty move. Maybe they can call it the Testicle Twist. And finally… Yes, Raw and Smackdown! ain’t what they used to be. But I’ll love a 60-minute William Regal-Crash Holly Iron Man match more than I could ever love Raymond. Peace Sherlock Fuck Raymond. And Anna Nicole, too. |