[God, forgive me for the sins I am about to commit.]

Bret fell off a f'n bike and lost the feeling in his entire left side of his body?

Reports say it has NOTHING to do with Goldturd kicking through his skull in WCW.

RoughKut Says: BEWL SHYT! . I mean goddamn, Christopher Reeves falls off a horse and all he can move is his mouth. That's understandable. Also Reeves is like 70. Bret is youthful and falls off a goddamn 10 speed and has a stroke that's totally un-related to his prior concussion? Give me a f'n break.

The Calgary Sun reports that the stroke former WCW and WWF champion Bret Hart suffered following a bicycle accident is "unrelated" to the severe concussion that ended Hart's career.

The article notes that Hart's left side was paralyzed on Monday after he suffered the fall and wasn't wearing a helmet while riding his bike. Despite the loss of feeling in his left side, Hart was still able to summon help with his cell phone and was treated by EMS and brought to the hospital.

Since Monday, Hart has made progress in use of his left side and has been able to begin to speak normally. The article notes that doctors believe Hart can recover fully from the stroke, but it will take "a lot of work" in physical therapy over the next several weeks. Hart is expected to remain hospitalized for at least three more weeks.

Hart has released several messages via his assistant, but is expected to comment himself in his Calgary Sun column.

God, I'm going to hell. I feel responsible for this. In fact, I take total responsibility. Here's my harsh words just a single day before Bret fell off his *snicker* bike.

Bret Hart: DIE ALREADY!

Bret, your Mamma is dead. Three of your brothers died under tragic circumstances and your father is hanging on by a short gray pubic hair. Two of your sisters are borderline psychopaths. You can NEVER do what you love again. The only job where you can possibly be worth anything was replaced with a size 13-foot print in your head.

I forgot to add that his wife left him because he fucked that filthy skank, Tammy Sytch. "Sunny Days are here again, Bret!" That would be wrong though.

I do admit, I feel bad for the guy. He's lost everything. Now he's lost control of his left nut and drool prevention mechanisms too. I honestly feel bad typing this, but I can't help it. I can’t stop typing. I need Jesus! My Mexican gardener Jesus always knows the right thing to say.

So what or when Bret is never able to fully recover, what will he do? I can think of SO many parodies. I just don't have time and I couldn't wait until Monday to write this. I have no conscious. Please pray for me. Ok… here's a few ideas.. I can't help it!!!!!!!! + 2 !!

THE TOP TEN LIST OF THINGS BRET HART CAN DO NOW THAT HE'S IN THE DROZ CLUB

10. Team up with Droz and form the "Droolsome Twosome".

9. Finally be able to please his ex-wife.

8. Walk in circles.

7. Never have to pay for grease for his filthy hair again.

6. Park closer to the adult bookstores.

5. Bring animals into the movie theaters.

4. Blame Vince.

3. Collect a check.

2. Pee ANYWHERE!

1. FINALLY… Have a REASON TO ACT LIKE A BABY!

Believe me, I felt so bad writing that. I hope something happens to me. I WISH IT WERE ME THAT FELL OFF A BIKE *Snicker*!!!!!! WHY? WHY?

I think I seriously need to seek counseling.

Cheerio,
Kut