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The Stone Cold story has taken precedence over most anything else lately. First he loses his job, then he gets slammed on national TV, and finally he beats the hell out of Debra. But Austin has again lost the spotlight to a more entertaining person, that being one Vince Russo. The internet has caught Russo-fever since his rumored return. First he was “maybe” back, then he was definitely back and head of the booking staff, and now it’s rumored that Stephanie and HHH have convinced Vinny Mac to demote Russo to “stay at home” status. Whatever the case, there’s no doubt of one thing : Vince Russo has many zany ideas. And not just zany ideas, we’re talking wacky AND zany ideas. In fact, these ideas are so zany and wacky, they’re downright zanacky! Thanks to Judge Gonz being the largest purchaser of the obscure WWF flavored beef snack sticks (his favorite is CHYNA flavor), we at Lethal have been given a “favor” from the boys on the inside. I’ve called upon this favor to reveal to you, the Lethal readers, what plans Vince Russo has in store to turn the WWE around. Humiliate Ric Flair - What better way to turn a company around than to completely humiliate Ric Flair? After all, the guy has done next to nothing for the business, might as well get some use out of him while you can before he suffers another in-ring heart attack. Russo’s plans call for him to book Flair in a match against a newly rehired Eric Bischoff. Easy E would win with a weak version of X-Pac’s spinning heel kick. After the match was over they’d reveal it was a HAIR VS. HAIR MATCH ALL ALONG! SWERVE! Flair gets shaved bald, Russo adopts Reid, and the ratings SKYROCKET. Jeff Jarrett Contingency Plan #157 - The renewed contingency plan #157 calls for the WWE to switch to still pictures of Jeff every 15-20 minutes of WWE programming. Eventually the fans will have to accept him as a main event player. This is similar to contingency plan #121, which is to crown Jeff Jarrett as the new heavyweight champion even though he isn’t currently an active wrestler in the WWE. Hey, “slapnuts” could still be huge someday. Five words : Big Show In A Thong
- Hey, this shit books itself sometimes. More birth angles! - It worked so well with Stacy and David in WCW, so why not see if lightning will strike twice? Test and Stacy Keibler have made their relationship quite public, especially with the kiss Test planted on Stacy a few weeks ago on Smackdown. This is a golden opportunity to have another “Mae Young Hand Angle”, only not quite as disgusting. Well, judge for yourself.
Can’t miss ideas are one thing, but what Russo has in store for us seems to be pure genius. I know I’ll be watching……another channel.
Alright, that’s enough of that shit. Basically I wrote half a post about funny Russo ideas until I realized that :
A) Russo is boring to write about because jokes about him have been done to death and So let’s wrap this up with some KOTR predictions. Hurricane vs. Knoble – Cruiserweight Title - How sad is it that they thought the best way to get Knoble over was to put NIDIA with him? Talk about your fucking ego buster. In any event, I say Knoble wins the strap here. Hopefully we see Rey Mysterio Jr. get involved somehow, but only if it’s Kevin Nash throwing him dart-style to the ring. Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus – Women’s Title - Let’s go with Molly because chubby people kick ass. RVD vs. Jericho – KOTR semifinals - Is there any doubt? RVD. I feel kind of bad for Jericho that now the glass ceiling has been set even LOWER, but hey, thems the breaks. Jericho will regain his heat by jobbing to HHH on a WWE show soon. No worries… Test vs. Lesnar – KOTR semifinals - Unless Lesnar is afraid of centaurs, Test gets the shit kicked out of him here. Flair vs. Guerrero - Look for AA and Benoit to get involved here. Hopefully Flair lays down and puts Guerrero over because Eddy could use a win a hell of a lot more than Flair could right now. Angle vs. Hogan - Same idea here. Angle needs the win, Hogan doesn’t. Angle is fresh off jobbing to Edge and would gain more out of a victory here. However, look for Hogan to take off Angle’s wig at some point during or after the match and wear it. Because the funny in that just HASN’T run out yet! RVD vs. Lesnar – KOTR finals - Lesnar would be the champ here if the champ didn’t get a title shot at SummerSlam. RVD wins the KOTR finals here, perhaps due to Rock interfering on his behalf, and gets the title shot. RVD will probably lose the IC title tomorrow on RAW to Lesnar thanks to a screwjob of some sort (probably by Undertaker….). Undertaker vs. HHH – WWE Undisputed Title - Undertaker will walk out as champ here. They’ve hotshotted the belt around too much lately and they need to let someone hang on to it for more than a month. Especially since RVD is going to be KOTR champ, keeping the belt on Taker would make the most sense. They already have a ready-made feud between the two. If things play out as they should tonight, the SummerSlam card should be something along these lines :
- Rey Jr. vs Whoever for the WWE Cruiserweight Title And just because I know you liked it so much, here we go again…
- MMN |
