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 HOT DAMN!! Today’s “Confidential” is a repeat, and not only is it a repeat, but it’s ONE I RECAPPED ALREADY!! This one may be finished by the time games start. Got some ads first, tho. There’s a brand new LOW BLOW at THE RING POST (and I’m assuming soon at WRESTLING OUTLAWS as well). Also be sure to check out TRP for the brand new Ginger and Jones, and the latest from Tom Zenk and Annie are coming very soon. Also check out our suave scrolly news bar which is the tits. Jim from PHANTASMO is the ahr-teest responsible for today’s banner. All the clown luv I’m capable of mustering up on a Sunday morning with a lingering sinus infection to you, Jimbo. You are truly a man among… er… whatever the hell we are. I actually did used to work at a place that had a hotter than Hell UPS chick. Oh, the “where do I sign for the box” jokes never stopped. Also, if you come across any websites you love and they’re asking for a little scratch to keep the thing running, do the right thing and help ‘em out. They’d do the same for you (this also extends to writers looking to make it to WrestleMania). Trust the guy who keeps the lights on at this place, it ain’t cheap… and sometimes new expenditures can come up out of the blue. So help your brothers out. Oh, and I know we’ve been quiet the last few days, but fear not. There’s new names, returning names and HTM to come. K, that’s enough of that. Time to get to some recapping. WWE VELOCITY 9/28/02 Slamball is still on the air? I owe somebody a dollar. Kurt’s still getting it on with Rock. Guess we know how he REALLY got his acting gigs now. Tonight John Cena vs. D-Von, plus “highlights” from Unforgiven including Undertaker sucking and Rikishi in drag. I swear if I’d paid for that garbage Vince would have a lawsuit on his hands right now. We’re opening with Kidman. Tajiri should be down presently. YES!! Michael Cole is out molesting flightless waterfowl or whatever he does with his time off and TAZZ is in the house!! Sweet… since Cole making fun of Lloyd is like berating his doppelganger. Well, glory be. He’s actually taking on someone different this week. Crash Holly’s music hits and he does his Backlund imitation again. You watch, the chicken wing will be his finisher before year’s end. Meanwhile, Tazz and Lloyd discuss the fall out from the PPV. Tazz flubs his line and calls the main event match “unforgettable” when he obviously meant “unforgivable”. The wrestlers start out by doing one of those trading move things that used to get pops when RVD and Jerry Lynn did it, and as Kidman goes to shake Crash’s hand to show props gets kicked in the stomach. Billy rushes the ropes, then waits for Holly to duck before coming off with a flying elbow. OOW!! Crash gets tossed outside the ropes, then attacks Billy and sort of powerbombs his back onto the guard rail. DAMN! Meanwhile Tazz and Mark do everything in their power to convince us that Brock didn’t really lose all his heat last Sunday. If I may go on a rant here (and I may… since it’s my fucking recap), a brief look at history reminds us that as much as anything, WCW was destroyed by what was described weekly as “the inmates running the asylum”. Well, there are stories of both Undertaker and Triple H manipulating their matches last Sunday to ensure their position at the cost of the match and logical outcome, and the management going along with it. To whoever reads the net and passes the info along in that company… let them know that ANY TIME PARALLELS CAN BE DRAWN BETWEEN YOU AND WCW SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE FIXED AND QUICKLIKE!! Tazz reminds us that Brock bloodied Taker up nice and good on Thursday. Then warns Mark that he’s gonna get his ass beat if he doesn’t stop talking trash about Lesnar. Mark begs Tazz not to accelerate his death. (It’s true Brock… I heard Marky was saying you gave blowjobs in the back room for $2 a pop). Crash continues his ride to Backlundville with a camel clutch. He almost gets a three count using the ropes for leverage, then recovers from a powerslam to do a LSD on the guy that gets to ball Torrie. Kidman then recovers and delivers a sharp kick to the back of the head of the guy who gets to ball the Waffle House waitress assuming she hasn’t already left with one of the ring crew. Kidman goes up for the shooting star press but gets caught and put into the face piledriver move. 1... 2… 3?? WTF? Kidman loses CLEAN to Crash Goddamned Holly? Jesus, who’s sandwich did he put a turd in? They say the roll for Holly on Smackdown continues. Funny, I could’ve sworn he was jobbed out last week. Lloyd makes the same “Unforgettable” faux pas Tazz did earlier and we’re off to highlights (in name only) from last Sunday. Eric brings out the dizzikes and they prepare to molest Stephanie. Instead Eric says he’s going to bring out the fattest, ugliest, most disgusting (people didn’t know it was Rikishi from the description alone?) lesbo he could find. Of course it’s really a Samoan which McMahon kissed instead, and somehow that’s less embarrassing for her in bizzaro-WWE. Then Bischoff gets his face stuffed up the cellulite ass. He keeps doing it long enough for Eric to smell his liver. We’ll deal with Undertaker later in the show, apparently. But next a match Tazz unashamedly calls a “match of the year contender”. And he’s absolutely correct. Edge/Eddy no-DQ from Smackdown when we return. Commercials LUGZ BOOT OF THE WEEK: Eddy gets speared, but then nails Edge with a chair that causes the massive cut I can’t stop raving about. Tazz and Lloyd set up the match by discussing the less impressive one at the PPV, with Eddy winning via an exposed turnbuckle. We start a good ways into the match, but the first spot that truly made everyone take notice. Edge does a Nestea plunge onto a ladder, then Eddy puts another on top of it and springboards over the ropes to deliver a ROLLING SPLASH TO THE LADDER, sandwiching Edge between them and assuredly loosening some vertebrae. Amazing. WOOOHOOO!! LIONS WIN (finally)!! AND it’s 4:20. K, I guess I can start paying attention to this thing now. Eddy goes for a cover but Edge kicks out. Then we cut to Eddy about to attempt a frogsplash off the ladder but Edge meets him at the top. Geurrero instead sunset flips him into a powerbomb. Cut again to Edge laid against the ladder in the corner, but flips Eddy back first into it. Good lord. Tazz says this is awesome, and that comes from someone who’s seen a lot of brutal matches in his day. Match ends with a Edge-o-cution that takes your breath away. Eddy’s got a nice bloody forehead going at the end himself. STILL TO COME: Undertaker is even boring when he bleeds. Commercials Wrestlemania is coming to Seattle, which Tazz brags about making the front page of the Seattle newspaper. When every headline for the last ten years has been “it’s raining again” and “20 more people OD on smack” they’re pretty desperate for variety. Stephanie makes the announcement, Triple H yaps and everybody gets shown in clip form. Edge blabs, Taker says he’s going to be 11-0 at the end of it, Booker says something in eubonics and Jericho ponders whether he’ll be jobbing to Rico or Funaki at it. Shannon Moore, complete with his Hardy tendencies, is on his way to the ring. He’s taking on Doug Bashem. Oh shit, not THE Doug Basham?? It IS… YES!! THE ONE AND ONLY DOUG BASHEM!! One thing… who the fuck is Doug Bashem? Tazz is asked what advice he’d give to young Doug Bashem and he says “get as many wins as possible. Wins are important when you’re first starting out”. Only when you’re first starting out? Do you live in Jericholand now, Tazz? Shannon with a sweet boomerang kick but Bashem takes over with power spots. The crowd boos loudly, and not in a heel sense. He’s got a look that may play in the sticks, but he better have something special if he’s going to win these guys over. Heh, and he better do it quickly… a very vocal “you suck” chant has just broken out. Tazz makes fun of “Matt Hardy, v1” while the crowd continues to give Bashem hell. He does a set spot that Moore reverses into a bulldog. Looks sloppy, crowd is quick to blame the new guy. MAN they don’t like this poor sap. In fact, it’s gotten to the point where they don’t even want to cheer Moore too much when he makes a good move because if they sound like they enjoy the match their disgust might get confused with heel heat. He does some flying leg clothesline thing that misses badly and again the crowd registers. Moore then hits a halo for the victory and they cheer loudly, thrilled this is over. They just totally buried this scrub. Oh well, back to Ohio with you… you have my deepest sympathies (not for being demoted, just for having to spend any time in Ohio). UP NEXT: Angle, Benoit, Mysterio… Triple Threat time. Commercials Ha, someone holds up a sign that says “FINALLY… The Rock has gone BACK to Hollywood”. Cute. Kurt mocks Rey for being younger than Sabotage and Manton and Stephanie makes the three way match. Angle bitches she’s only doing this because he was born in San Diego like 8 years ago. Hey, fuck San Diego, they’re the fuckheads who arrested the BUMFIGHTS guys. Fuck all y’all… the Chargers blow (aah, another city alienated. I think that leaves Dover, Delaware as the last place with an unfettered fan base). Angle bitches in the ring about it, kicking a GREAT shot about how many of these people would still be in the building if the INS was called in. Half the crowd boos, the other looks to make sure they’ve got their green cards. Then he calls out Benoit…speaking of borders we don’t protect with enough ammo. To the match. Benoit picks apart the Olympic champ until a german suplex is reversed. Angle slam but Rey kicks Kurt out then gets a two-count. Angle pulls Mysterio out and leaves him alone like he’s a non-issue. Mysterio goes flying out of the ring onto Benoit, then gets thrown HARD into the wooden rails. Um… ow? Ankle Lock on Chris who makes the ropes, then when he gets put in a headlock both become victims of the 619. Angle recovers to clothesline the shit out of Rey, but walks right into the crossface. Good God there’s lots of Eddy blood on the mat. Rey breaks it up, and dropkicks Angle into Benoit who disposes him from the ring. He tosses Rey over his head but Mysterio lands on the middle rope, springboards off, and gets his rana for the win. Nice slant on what never stops being an impressive move. UP NEXT: Taker, Brock, snore. Commercials JVC BOOM BOX WHATEVER OF THE WEEK: Taker squashes Brock en route to the WCW finish at the PPV. From Smackdown, Lesnar first nearly kills Funaki (figuratively and literally on one spot), then Taker does the same to Matt Hardy. But when UT does it, he gets smashed by Brock with the belt. Taker’s very bloody, which is a bit suspicious since there’s none on the belt, even after the second “hit”. Heyman calls it “Dead Man Bleeding”. We see him backstage trying to get stitched up and retarding around the dressing room. Tazz says “no one has gotten under the skin of Taker like Brock”, which I’m not sure whether or not is supposed to be a pun based on all the color. UP NEXT: Our “main event”. Commercials D-Von struts to his religious music. Cena struts to his gay shorts. Let’s get this over with. Cena starts with some hip tosses. Tazz decides he’d rather talk about a match that matters and goes back to Edge and Eddy. Near fall for John, which Lloyd says would be a “major upset”? Really? He gets punched in the face and falls FACE FIRST to the floor. Tazz tries to make Lloyd say discouraging things about D-Von. I’d think watching this match would be motivation enough. (ZING!) Cena with a couple of nice clotheslines. Dropkick for a near-fall. Fisherman’s spinning neckbreaker? Interesting. D pulls John off the ropes with a neckbreaker of his own. Still no finish. Then Cena with a sunset flip… that he wins with? O… K. D-Von then gives Cena the saving grace and a flying headbutt to work out his frustrations. Thus endith the new material part of this recap. I should probably add a few new jokes or something but tough shit. WWE CONFIDENTIAL I’ll say this once, if I had a vote in the “voices that we should never have to hear on wrestling programs ever again” poll I’d vote for Gene Okerlund over Tony Schiavone every day and try to figure out ways to rig it and vote more. OPENING CREDITS: Vince says that Austin “took his ball and went home” (and then gave her a black eye… most likely after she made another shitty batch of cookies). Ross says “it’s like saying John Wayne turning coward”. Pfft, Wayne was a fag. No straight guy calls other men “pilgrim”. Gene-o Machino starts by saying the WWE (I STILL can’t say that without thinking of WEEEEEE!) was “on the receiving end of a stunner this week”. He informs us that Austin had issues with certain people and directions recently until it reached the boiling point. That sounds eerily similar to something else that happened recently, but damned if I can put my finger on what. The question is whether Steve Austin’s days in the WWE are over, and tonight Vince and Jimbo will answer those questions “and others” (I got one… “Don’t you realize Austin is like the only star on RAW that you’re not still a year away from pushing to the top? Also, when is Ellen going to be a guest on your very gay show?”) But first, BOBBY THE BRAIN HEENAN! Without ANY doubt the greatest color commentator in the history of this business, and one of the main reasons I became a true fan during the transition from wrestling being “stupid fake shit” into my one of my favorite forms of entertainment. Gene reads off his accolades. Manager of Andre and Flair, the man Hogan says is monumental in the success of Hulkamania, and who Bob Costas (and we all know what a friend of Vince’s HE is) unabashedly calls “the smartest man in wrestling”. After explaining he was called “The Weasel” because of his ability to slink out of any mess Gene laments, “Sadly, he recently found himself in a situation he couldn’t talk his way out of”. They begin with a clip of Heenan lambasting Gorilla Monsoon on the old “PrimeTime” show. No other announce team will ever be able to TOUCH what they did. He then starts to tell about his throat cancer, that it’s right on his tongue. All traces of the “boom” in his voice are gone. HOLY SHIT I may not make it through this segment without tearing up… gimme a second. Aaaaah… Jagermeister. Liquid testosterone. Where’s some raw meat I can eat or fuck? Bobby shills his book. Despite his hand being in the way you can see it’s co-written by Steve Anderson. Last I checked (thanks to Sebollox and Sayeitan) he was still reading Lethal. SEND ME A COPY, STEVE!! “THE BARBED LIBRARY” SERIES NEEDS A NEW ENTRY (and the old ones need archiving… d’oh!). Clips of Bobby taking his bumps. He tells about wanting to be loved by everyone when he came in, but that once he started managing Patterson and Stevens his future was ordained. We then move ahead to the PrimeTime clips. He says they were the best moments of his life. Ironically, a lot of those moments still stand atop my favorite moments in this business. He compares their chemistry to Gleason and Carny, and it’s really not a bad analogy. I never faulted Tony for it, but every broadcast I ever watched of Schiovane and Heenan was frustrating, because you could see Bobby setting up a joke, and Tony didn’t have any idea what to do with it. That NEVER happened with Monsoon. It was like one mind controlling two people it was so fluent. Arn calls him the funniest guy he’s ever met, better than any stand-up comedian. Bobby then talks about meeting Vince and immediately knowing how the company had all the right elements for it to be huge. You get a little insight into the future by him telling the story of toasting Vince with a beer after Wrestlemania, saying “here’s to Wrestlemania 2”. Vince responded, “what do you mean? Here’s to Wrestlemania A HUNDRED AND TWO”. Say ANYTHING you want about Vince, but you can never take away his drive to succeed. He shows something that has to be among his most prized possessions; the plaque from being selected for the 1988 “All Madden Team” even though he never played football. YES! Clips from “The Bobby Heenan Show”. If anyone knows where I can get a tape of all the episodes of that you don’t even want to know how much I’ll pay for it. They even show the classic one where porn star Heather Hunter comes out, who Bobby was “informed” was a star of the Eddie Murphey movie “Coming to America” until she corrects him by saying she’s the star of “Coming IN America”… then knocks him out of his chair with a striptease. There’s also footage of “Jamison” who is a story all to himself. Then we go to the story of him in WCW. He says it was a “no brainer” since his daughter was going to school in the south and he was living in Florida. And the clips are PRICELESS, as each one just shows him ridiculing the nonsense that he’s having to do. He tells us right out, “the production was poor, and it was people that didn’t know how to run a wrestling company. They didn’t even know my character, they wanted me to be a straight announcer.” The one that sums up EVERYTHING (from the Nitro announce table): Bobby: Can someone tell me PLEASE what is going on here. Tony: I don’t know what to tell you, Bobby… I’m just like you are. Bobby: You’re NOT just I am. YOU DON’T CARE!! YOU DON’T CARE!! He said after that, he just went home. He tells of his last moment in the sun, the “old timer’s battle royal” he called with Mean Gene. They show him shaking hands with everyone after the match is over, and Paul E. has the look in eyes that every star-struck kid who was ever lucky enough to meet his hero has. He ends by saying he wouldn’t trade his life for anyone’s. We’re going to commercial, and I need to compose myself. Thank you for being everything that was great about this business, Bobby. STILL TO COME: Vince calls what Steve Williams (uh oh… using “real names”. This is SERIOUS, people) did the most selfish thing he ever could have done to the WWE. Commercials Gene leads us into a bit on Kurt Angle by first trashing his bravado, then saying all the things he brags about are true and that he’s really a great guy with a work ethic we should all look up to. At moments like this I miss the days where “kayfabe” was not only practiced, but also a word none of you knew. Kurt tells the story of his run to the Olympics, and how his family and he reacted to it. There’s a pretty funny tale of his dad toughening him up by having an imaginary “stop” button Kurt could push if they were working out and it started hurting, and that a few times he’d feverishly be “pushing” it and his dad would tell him “the button is broken”. He tells about his training, and how he hated doing it but looked forward to every minute because he knew it’d make him better. We also go through the death of his father and how that inspired him to re-dedicate his life to him. Then it goes through his NCAA achievements and all the training for the Olympics. This would be a lot more interesting if there wasn’t a story WE’RE ALL WAITING TO SEE COMING UP!! It ends with Kurt sort of digging the irony of using the Olympics, with athletes that looked down on the pro guys, as a springboard to the WWE. When we come back we get to the good stuff. Clip of Vince saying he has “no idea” what caused Austin to walk out of the company, as if a week ago Steve was the happiest guy in the whole locker room. Commercials Gene says that the WWF Attitude was basically built on the relationship between Steve Austin and Vince McMahon, and that sometimes “art imitates life”. He runs us briefly through Austin’s tirade on “Byte This” and leads up to last Monday, where Austin walked out of the show just before RAW was supposed to go on the air. Gene states that while many people think this is part of the show, he can assure you that it is not (and Gene has never given any information that was anything less than “Gospel” in his life… so you KNOW it’s true). “The Stone Cold era may be over” he says solemnly, and we’re off. COVER STORY We start with the Byte This stuff: Austin calls the writing “piss poor” and the whole direction of the company “shitty”. He says he loves his job but creatively they could be doing a hell of a lot better than they are. One week later on the same show Vince tries to pretend Austin is simply bitter that he’s not performing as well as he used to, while at the same time admitting he needs better material to work with. Jim Ross welcomes us to Atlanta, Georgia. Ric Flair announces that Stone Cold Steve Austin did not show up. So here’s Vince’s first comment on it: “He was hell-bent on not showing, so he got on the plane and went home. He took his ball and went home and obviously I’m pissed off.” Now, I’m going to make every effort to be as objective as possible about this whole thing, but my very first thought there is “if he was so hell-bent on not showing, why did he ever fly to Atlanta in the first place?” Ross says that Austin was upset with the things they had planned for him on Monday (a job to Brock Lesner if I’m not mistaken) and that while he’d always talked to Vince straight up in the past he didn’t want to this time. Vince then called Steve and asked him to call him back. As he tells it, Austin agreed to everything (obviously begrudgingly), and Vince says “not that I needed his approval, but it’s good to have the performer buying into what you’re asking them to do”. Yeah, unless you’ve carried the company on your shoulders for the last five years… like X-Pac and Kevin Nash, right? Ross and Vince say they got a call from their travel agent that Austin had booked a flight home, and done it in a way where he wasn’t planning to tell anyone he wasn’t going to be there. If that’s true, that’s pretty damn close to being inexcusable regardless of any other circumstances. Vince says that after the first time Austin did this they’d told him that no matter what, this can never happen again. It’s like the one unpardonable sin in this business. That reminds me… NO MATTER WHAT, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DELETE ANY MORE FORUMS, MMN (hey, I have to give him shit… this thing is taking twice as long today because I don’t want to bring down the board after his AWESOME “cards” post). Vince says last time this happened he chalked it up to Austin being “burned out” which while still not an excuse is understandable. Ross says he all but begged Steve to get off the plane and come talk to McMahon face to face, and he’d be the mediator if necessary. Not doing so, Ross stresses, was “the biggest mistake of his professional career”. We go to break with a clip of Vince: “This is not a publicity stunt. This is something that unfortunately… it’s sad. That’s what we’re confronted with. This is sad.” Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I said THAT last Sunday I’d have… um… at least sixty-five cents. Commercials Vince says when things like this happen he looks in the mirror and asks himself what he could’ve done to change things, and while he’ll accept whatever blame people want to give him over this he doesn’t know what he could’ve done differently. If that’s REALLY a regiment he goes through I find it hard to believe that after all these years he’s never once had the notion that “I could have NOT screwed Bret”. He says that in the past they’d always been able to talk and work something out, but Austin ended that mode of communication. As much as I know Vince isn’t saying anything “wrong” here, I can’t help but wonder how many of those recent “face-to-face” talks recently had netted Austin nothing. You can’t look at the timing of all of this without tying it to both the hiring of the nWo and the complete destruction of the product. I’m not saying Steve is right, only that I’m sympathetic. JR says that if you have a problem you need to eliminate it, but Austin eliminated himself before letting anyone try to solve the problem. He then reminds us that we’re going to read a lot of things about this and that most of it will be crap (hence, if you’re going to follow this on the web, the only place for the REAL story is WWE.com. Anything Austin says to rebut it is the overactive imagination of net geeks). Ross points out all the people there in Austin shirts and holding Stone Cold signs that got screwed over by his decision. Vince rambles on about the investment they made in him, and that in ten years he still would have been part of the WWE family because that’s how Vince takes care of those who helped the company. After all, look at his history with his biggest stars; like Bruno, Bret, Savage, and Foley. You can’t get those guys to shut the fuck up about what a great “dad” Vinnie is. Jim “Mr. Obvious” Ross points out that sometimes what happens behind the scenes is more intriguing than what happens on the shows. Sure has been THIS year. Then again, the behind the scenes of that “Ya Ya Dykehood” movie have been more intriguing than some of the excrement in the shows recently. Ross says he doesn’t believe in any of that “lying on the couch psychology bullshit” (Freud was a cracked-out homo) but that something is different in Stone Cold’s head. He’s always been a man’s man who was up front about everything, and all of a sudden no one in the company is trustworthy to him. HELLO!?! REMEMBER THE “DTA” MOTTO YOU MARKETED FOR YEARS?? He talks about how tight they’ve been but has to evaluate where they are as human beings. He points out he’s not wearing his black cowboy hat because he’s not “Good old JR” for this interview. I think we figured that out when you didn’t scream every third sentence in triplicate, Jimbo. Ross continues, saying he doesn’t know when they’ll even communicate again. He says he doesn’t see how Austin could just go home like that. He then TOTALLY kills the serious tone of the whole segment with the ABSOLUTE FUNNIEST LINE anywhere on WWE programming this week: I wouldn’t do it. I don’t care how bad things are. We’ve all done things we’re uncomfortable doing here. I’ve had pig shit poured all over me in a pig pen, I’ve kissed Mr. McMahon’s ass, I’ve been beat up by a woman, I’ve had a lot of things happen to me here… BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! He says that everyone did what they did as a team, and you won or lost that way… you don’t just say “I’m not going to play anymore”. He says one day we may get the real story of why Austin did this, but only Steve knows what that reason is (riiiiiiiiight). Vince says Steve WAS a friend of his, but Austin acted like a child and he’s pissed. He says when something like this happens he feels like he failed in some way. He says he never had anyone that he felt he bent over backwards for like Stone Cold and this hurts. It may be the most sincere thing he’s ever said in his life… but he sure sounds a hell of a lot more like a “performance” than a “shoot”. He says by Austin leaving he spit in the face of everyone in the company, which again is pretty inarguable. When we come back “we’ll answer the question ‘will Stone Cold be back in the WWE’?” then in true South Park form answer it right then with Vince saying “there is NOT an open door for Steve Austin to return and I’ll tell you why?” Commercials Vince says as devastating as losing Austin is, it creates opportunities they didn’t have before. Ross seconds that by saying it’s time for everyone to step up and new stars are going to be created. Vince says in no uncertain terms the door isn’t open for a return. He has stockholders and workers to answer to and when someone walks out on you twice, the second with no intention of saying he was doing so, there’s no way to bring him back up and build him up again with the knowledge he may do this again. He says “never say never” in this business, but how he could do business with Jeff Jarr… er… Austin again is beyond him right now. Ross says the same thing, adding that if anyone else wants to leave they should but be professional about it. He also says he puked. He talks about all the problems Stone Cold came through and to see this happen after all that is too much, then he says the John Wayne thing I mentioned earlier. He ends it with “Stone Cold will NOT be on RAW on Monday night… as far as I know he won’t be on RAW ever again.” I KNOW it’s not a work, but since the last time I recapped this show Shawn ended by saying “Shawn Michaels is as dead as he’s ever going to be” 48 hours before joining the nWo you can see where speculation can NEVER be helped. When we come back, some classic Bobby moments. The lead-in is him asking a man in the audience how long he’s been married. When the guy responds “21 years” the Brain informs him “you know if you’d killed your wife on your wedding night you’d be out by now”. What a legend. Commercials WWE REWIND: Heenan and Okerlund hitchhike to Royal Rumble. HAHA! Okerlund from 95 shilling “The March to Wrestlemania… here on USA.” Just think, a year ago Barry Diller was probably still pissed he didn’t carry RAW anymore. It’s a rib by Gene where he says he’s located the Executive offices but it’s really the women’s bathroom. If you read that sentence in total deadpan, then that’s how funny the scene was. Thankfully we’re going to see more stuff that doesn’t have this goof in them. Clips of Heenan, too quick to really recap. All great. Man, he was the best. Brooklyn Brawler and Pat Patterson are the ones saying most of the nice things about him, which HAS to raise some eyebrows. Next week, up close and personal with Stacy Keibler. Gene says he’s going to have to handle that duty himself. Bet she can’t fucking wait. (Er… that’s probably subject to change.) LIONS WIN!! LIONS WIN!! Barbwire Mike Feel free to take next week off too, Gene Mean |