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 FOR GOD’S SAKE!! WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?? PROMISE the new Zenk goes up tonight at THE RING POST! Meantime Yeahgr’s subbing for Jonny X who suffered injuries watching the show last night. Just don’t feel much like shilling today (perish the thought), so we’ll just jump right into it. Let’s talk wrestling. All I wanted was to know about the Undertaker injury without locking up my dying computer, and Dead Hebner said "hold on, I'll check around". Seconds later, the only thing he could say was "go to Meltzer's site". I obliged, and without exception my response was word for word the exact same one as EVERY SINGLE PERSON that we linked to it over the next few hours: "WHAT THE FUCK??!!" ”A pre-tape was done earlier today featuring HHH going to the cemetary [sp] where Katie Vick was buried. He exumes [sp] the casket, opens it up, takes her clothes off including her panties, then takes his clothes off and gets on top of her. This scene is shot in such a way that you only see HHH's head so there is no nudity or anything objectionable that you view, although the image it attempts to portray is something else. For the last two Tuesdays, I've joined the chorus of wrestling fans and net geeks who are stunned stupid (not that it takes a whole hell of a lot to do that) over the whole thing; saying such things as "this is something even Rob Black wouldn't do", "worse than the dumbest Nitro gimmick", and "HAHAHAHA!!", along with renewing the suggestions that the show is being ruined by design (OMG it's a conspiracy!! Where's Moulder?). And then last night they go and do it; an angle that has infuriated fans to the point they've finally sworn off the show forever. Something so over the top that I'm fully expecting to hear about heat with either TNN or the FCC within a day or two. Something so outlandish that even company man JR couldn't keep from registering his disgust, comparing it unfavorably with Mae Young giving birth to a hand. As for me, I... I... I FUCKING LOVED IT!! Oh MAN that was without any doubt one of the most entertained I've been by a Now don't confuse things. If you're one of those mindless lemmings who has to wait to see what the prevailing opinion is on something before forming your own, don't use this as the barometer. I am in the DISTINCT minority here. At least one friend stated emphatically that this really is the last time he ever watches that show (and I know he's not speaking idly, since he once boycotted my WU posts until the one that got under his skin was off the front page), and a host of others applauded him and wished aloud they had the same levels of will power. This absolutely infuriated a good percentage of WWE’s fans, disgusted many others, and embarrassed still others (not to mention arousing a few, but we're looking into getting them the help they need). (Heh, when I say the majority hated it I'm not kidding. Three pages of Torch feedback and only two people gave it a grade higher than "0.0", and no less than Paul Bearer went on a messageboard to say that he never thought he'd be proud to say he no longer works for Vince McMahon, but today he is. Grow a sense of humor people.) As for me, that's the first time I've truly enjoyed everything about a Triple H segment since the stories about what a cock he is started coming out. And make no mistake about it... it's not the subject matter that made the spot, it was Hunter's enthusiasm. First off, NO ONE can say they weren't taken aback when he first started groping corpse breasts. Seriously, I'm one jaded fuck... and that made my jaw drop. By the time he'd stripped and mounted her the segment was already so beyond the pale that this wasn't as much of a "no fucking way" spot. But his first handful is a moment I'll remember forever, whether it was Stephanie or one of those realistic love dolls in the cheerleader outfit (interesting side note on those, Sinister Minister was one of the very first people to get his... er... "hands" on one of those to review the experience for "Screw" magazine). The new Kane mask, the fact Kane was supposed to need a voice box when he was younger, the shirt… BWAHAHAHAHA!!. I'd be remiss in not including the WWE statement about it. Make no mistake, this is not an apology (nor should it be), but a justification (read that: "you have a problem with it? Fuck you!"). In a blatant attempt to create controversy and further enhance the character of RAW’s chief antagonist Triple H, last night’s Monday night RAW on TNN (rated TV-14 LVD) presented an alleged act of necrophilia. Triple H, poorly disguised as his chief adversary Kane, presented a skit in a funeral home using a mannequin that simulated the body of Kane’s former girlfriend Katie Vick. WWE Executive Producer Kevin Dunn, stated that numerous warnings to WWE viewers about sensitive subject matter did air prior to the segment. “While the subject matter is sensitive, on balance this was an attempt at dark humor capitalizing on the popularity of programs such as CSI, Six Feet Under and X-Files,” said Dunn. I admit it; I was one of the ones who was swept up in the whole "purity of the business being destroyed" crap. But come on, the reality is that happened a long freaking time ago. After Monday, it now makes perfect sense to me why they spotlighted the whole Big Show/Bossman funeral angle on CONFIDENTIAL Saturday. THIS IS THE SAME THING! A spot that is undeniably tasteless, but so goddamned campy there shouldn't be ANY WAY to take it as anything other than comedy (whether it was successful or not is a matter of personal taste). Actually getting upset about this like they bit the head off a live mouse or passed out pictures of a dead rabbit or something sick and depraved like that (heh) is something my warped mind simply cannot comprehend. So let the whiners whine, the haters hate, and the critics criticize. Last night RAW gave me an angle that I will remember forever and probably giggle to myself about every single time I reflect upon it (like now for instance... hehehe.) Who knows what tomorrow may bring, but right at this moment I'm more "pro-WWE" than I have been in a LONG fucking time. (Upcoming memo to the WWE chairman: "The whole world hated the angle except for Barbwire Mike, that guy we keep trying to budget a hit man for. Fire everyone involved ASAP".) And next week, Kane does the same to Helmsley. I hear GLAAD has already endorsed it as a great day for confused gay necrophiles who will finally have a positive role model. Eat a bag of formaldehyde. Barbwire Mike "I love puppies... when they're road kill/They're too cute to live, too cute to live, too cute like you" -GWAR |