|
|
 1,700 miles and nearly a thousand dollars later, I wouldn’t trade the best weekend you’ve ever had for Friday through Sunday. Rumor is the Dark Carnival is in Vegas next year. Be VERY afraid, Kev. As soon as this goes up (if not before) I’ll be loading up the new Tom Zenk (also back in this bitch) to THE RING POST. But if you’re waiting for that, it just means more time you have to allot later for the new Jonny X (yet another returning vacationer back in this bitch), Ginger (she can beat me up so I’ll keep “bitch” out of her tag) and a brand new one from our very own Roughkut (ALL OVER this bitch). And since it’s been awhile you can also read THE LOW BLOW again (even if I’m about to eat a little crow about it below the lines). Hell, I’ve been gone so I have no idea what else to shill. Just keep it here because by Friday you’ll have the most thorough report of THE GATHERING on the Internet. Hundreds of pictures along with complete details on the shows, the hard-fucking-core wrestling (and wrestling school… complete with NEKKID JUGGALETTES GOING THROUGH TABLES), the riot, and the outlandish costs of escorts in Knoxville… *cough* … as told by yours truly and fellow ninja MADROX who’s simply the man (what the fuck happened to you, Bateman? You missed one HELL of a show). Hella thanks to Sexton Hardcastle for the banner. It's PERFECT considering my ears are still ringing. Ready? (woot, woot!) Then LET’S TALK WRESTLING, MAKKO FAKKOS!! When last we spoke, your Barbed One was griping full-on about the bringing aboard of two of the biggest dregs of wrestling society ever. Not only were they being hired, they were about to tackle the front spots of every show usually reserved for the elder McMahon to get stiff on “asshole” chants. You groaned, I bitched, and then Pi and Adam put up attacks on net reporters and writers so scathing I’m using the time that should be spent unpacking answering mail from readers who want to boycott us because of them (I’ll tell you what I told those readers, if we don’t piss EVERY SINGLE READER off from time to time we’re only a step from trying to please everybody… and I’m sure you know how much we’d suck if we tried to do that). And my response to the theory that maybe this is their “fuck you” to us? GOOD FOR US!! Because I’m very much into the new direction. Manufactured competition is a hell of a lot more entertaining than none at all. I know… I’m shocked too. Maybe I’m just on a high from the weekend. Perhaps not having my opinions clouded by angry cunts not unlike myself lowered my defenses. It may just be a kink in dimensions that made the most despicable characters I’ve ever watched suddenly seem interesting (which I can’t rule out the possibility of… especially after off all people NORMAN SMILEY completely won me over this weekend). But goddamnit this whole angle appeals to me in a big way. Up until now the split has made less sense than JR forgetting who the Samoan SWAT Team is, now it has reason for being. WHOOPIE!! Not only that, it also is being led by two of the most legitimately petty and self-involved people this sport has ever been able to turn into a character. The fact the profits (or lack thereof recently) from both shows all go into the same pocket doesn’t change the fact that storyline or no, Eric Bischoff and Stephanie McMahon really do hate to lose. How much power each really has to control talent jumping from one to the other probably lies somewhere in-between “a hell of a lot less than they act like they do” and “a hell of a lot more than other characters reading off a script”. What’s important isn’t whether this becomes two different products that really hate each other, only that the appearance of it is believable. After all, that’s the whole con. For the last four months they’ve been ambling around trying to give us one good reason to accept the split, and succeeded only in driving away their biggest talent of the last decade, ruining the nWo gimmick (it was etched in stone what the outcome was the second they were hired, but having people who’s whole gimmick is to be outsiders who don’t give a fuck not able to invade either show was ten shades of ignorant), and gave “Not Everybody Thinks Raymond Is An Annoying Jew” more viewers. Now, there’s a reason to watch both shows, rather than the one that has your favorite people on it. Now, they finally get a chance to capitalize on all the mistakes they made with the “InVasion” clusterfuck with the benefit of hindsight. Now… they can finally gain back what drove millions away in the first place: Shows that are different enough for fans to rally behind one and cuss those who prefer the other. I’m not saying this is going to work, it’s way too early. But this is the first clear sign in almost a year that EVERYBODY is willing to make sweeping changes in hopes of making the WWE entertaining again. And despite the way this looks on paper, this clearly wasn’t hot-shotted. The main reason for my optimism isn’t the fact they put on a FANTASTIC show last night (SOOOO glad Hunter turned on Shawn. The fact they were playing it up like they’d been best friends the last year or so was making me sort of sick), but because for the first time since they actually had competition there seems to be an honest-to-God long-range plan here. I swear to God I’m so into this right now that if SmackDown hired Schiovane to jaw with Ross I’d fucking jack off on the spot. Oh, and say what you want about Eric (and you’ll be hard-pressed to find anyone who’s said more than me) but he was never afraid to give away PPV matches for free. They may want to pull about a little on the power-mad shit he was pulling last night but for now he’s getting the free ride from me that the rest of the company is going to get while things settle in (that’s the hope anyway, I may be in total bitch mode by Friday BUT THE EFFORT WILL BE THERE). And additional thumbs-up for getting Paul E. and Bischoff away from each other before that got ugly. Anyway, there’s probably a point to all that (something along the lines of “yay WWE for finally having the potential to not suck and yay net geeks for finally forcing their hand”) but I’m a little rusty and a lot tired and saving all the good material for the next post. That’s coming soon, and with any luck all the pictures from the fluorescent light bulb death match will all develop without any problem (and extreme close-ups of the aftermath, including Chuck Hogan’s arm torn deep into the muscle… and a shot of him choking me out with it). Plus somehow I’ll scan the Sabu autograph so you can see the unique BwM tribute in it (I’ll most likely have to circle the pix of him blazing a fatty with the rest of the Dark Lotus but trust me he hit that shit HARD). To close, the reason I have so much “clown luv” is that they never tried to appeal to (and often go out of their way chase away most) everyone, seem pretty damn “silly” to those who don’t pay attention, don’t give a FUCK that most people can’t stand them, and work harder than anyone else out there for no other reason than to entertain those down with the cause. For some odd reason, that reminds me of a site I know. Thanks to every single reader and staff member who made that something I was able to beam about on the ride home today. It’s all for you, and as long you’re willing to put up with us, I promise you… WE WILL NEVER DIE!! Barbwire Mike Although we may lose a forum or two… I’m not God or anything |